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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Feeling a little discouraged
heartbroken30
♀ Member
Member # 18437
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey everyone. Lately I have been feeling very lonely. I have been apart from XWH for almost 6 years. No regrets there. I ended a relationship that wasn't right for me about 6 months ago. I've always been an independent girl and up until recently, wasn't very concerned about having or not having a partner. But lately, I feel so lonely. I have plenty of great people around me, family, my kids, great friends and coworkers. I try to focus on those relationships, but lately I feel like something is missing. I miss having a partner. I also feel like there is no end in sight. I joined old, but haven't had much luck. I get initial interest, but either they are from men I am not interested in, or emails start and then stop. I went on one date last week, it went great, he asked me out again during the date, kissed me. He called me that night when I got home. Then I heard nothing. It's getting a little depressing. I can't help but think maybe it's me. I don't know. I find myself dwelling on finding a relationship, and I know that isn't healthy. Maybe I need to go back into IC. I just am afraid I'll be alone the rest of my life.

Thanks for listening.


Me - BS 42
Kids 12 and 9
Divorced

Posts: 1846 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: NY
Ms_Strong
♀ Member
Member # 30883
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi heartbroken30,
I was on SI tonight because I was just going to post about feeling lonely too. Just wanted to reach out to you to give you a hug.
I too am pretty independent but I really feel like there is a hole, I want someone to be next to me.
I can't help but think maybe it's me.
Sometimes we blame ourselves for things that aren't right, internalizing it. It probably isn't you. But maybe that sense of desperation is turning off potential boyfriends. You know what I mean, I bet you can sense it in a man if they are too desperate.
I find myself dwelling on finding a relationship, and I know that isn't healthy.

So true.
Apart from the usual advice about taking up a hobby, going to the gym, going out with friends, etc; all I want to do is just say to you, that I heard you this evening.
IC is probably a good idea. I'm thinking of doing the same.
One thing we can't be afraid of is to be alone. We must have the courage to face it alone, and probably will find a companion along the way. Or else it may become a self-fulfilling prophecy (the smell of desperation.) Sending you lots of good vibes and hugs.


Me: 40, happily divorced Dec11
D-Day #1 - 9th Jan 11, D-Day #2 - 13th Jan 11
Kids - 4, 8 yrs

Posts: 269 | Registered: Jan 2011
heartbroken30
♀ Member
Member # 18437
Default  Posted: 10:16 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Ms. Strong. I really needed to be heard tonight. I'm sorry you're feeling lonely too. Hugs...


Me - BS 42
Kids 12 and 9
Divorced

Posts: 1846 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: NY
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 10:27 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Heartbroken, I am so there with you tonight. Feeling lonely and gutted to my core. I want to believe I can love again but I can't see it. Just want to let you know you are heard!


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1232 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
heartbroken30
♀ Member
Member # 18437
Default  Posted: 10:37 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you fraeuken. And I want you to know I have been following your threads. I am so sorry for what that jerk put you through. You deserve so much better than him. I'm sorry you are lonely too. Don't call him!

I really feel like I will never find anyone and I can't see past it right now.


Me - BS 42
Kids 12 and 9
Divorced

Posts: 1846 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: NY
traicionada
♀ Member
Member # 10310
Default  Posted: 7:50 AM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((HB30)))
Sometimes, we might get a bit jaded but the important thing is that you're still able to recognize your needs as well as what you already have going fantastic in life. This blue feeling shall pass soon


Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...

Posts: 3250 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Dallas, Texas
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep. There are times when I think "Where IS he?.

Surely he's out there. I just keep telling myself that he is living the life and experiences that will make him the person that I need him to be.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7435 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((big group hug)) No advice cuz I'm right there with you...I'm not giving up on finding someone, and I'm back on old sending out "feelers" and getting a few nibbles...but it sure gets discouraging sometimes...


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3013 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
heartbroken30
♀ Member
Member # 18437
Default  Posted: 1:42 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm feeling a little bit better these past few days. Sure, the rejection hurts a bit, but better now than later I suppose. I'm trying to turn my
Focus inward. I'm thinking that i need to work on myself a bit more as I've been feeling very insecure lately. I made an IC appointment for next week.


Me - BS 42
Kids 12 and 9
Divorced

Posts: 1846 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: NY
Topic Posts: 9

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