You are not in a 3rd person situation, so please just stop looking at it as if you are. It is your life and it is happening to you. We have all been there and feel your pain and what you are going through. It hurts like hell and nothing compares to it, but we are there for you. I am so sorry that he did this to you and I just wanted you to know that you are not alone it this. (((HUGS)))
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.