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Newest Member: Depressed4ever (43230)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: My heart says yes but head says no :-(
Lost1986hurt
New Member
Member # 40764
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was with my bf for 4 years and we have a baby girl together.im from Scotland and he is from France so we compromised and said aslong as I was happy in France we would live there.however I was on the pill when I became pregnant so was quite a surprise and had a very hard pregnancy therefor was unable to work then a complicated c-section birth.anyway long story short our relationship deteriorated and when our baby was just 10 months he cheated in me however he is insisting it went no further than texts and a few kisses.my gut feeling is to believe him even though it is still betrayal.i have now moved back to Scotland as we were planning on doing anyway together but I am miserable without him.i would just like to hear any success stories and what people did to move on?i want to get back together with him but not sure i am the type of person who can forgive and forget :-( I've never felt so sad and angry in my life and feel it would be so much easier if I didn't love him anymore

Posts: 3 | Registered: Sep 2013
1Faith
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Member # 38975
Default  Posted: 3:36 PM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dear Lost

So sorry you are here and that you are hurting.

It is okay to love him and hate him at the same time. It is normal.

Can you work through this? Yes, you can but it takes two people truly vested in making it work.

It takes a lot of soul searching and hard work to figure out where your relationship was prior to the affair, where it currently is and where you want it to be going forward.

Your bf also needs to understand why and how he allowed himself to cheat. He has to understand how wrong it was and do the work necessary to ensure he won't go down that path again.

IC is recommended for you both to figure some of these things out.

It is a long road but one you can make it through.

TIME - the answer is time. On average it takes 2-5 years to recover from an affair. And even then the scars are still with you.

Good luck and take care of your baby. One day at a time.


If you're going through hell, keep going. - Winston Churchill

Posts: 842 | Registered: Apr 2013
Topic Posts: 2

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