I wish you luck...
I barely gave a fuck about ME. You stood no chance". Its a painful truth, but there you have it.
This really resonated with me. At the time that I was making my choices to do what I did, I had no idea that I had given up on myself so entirely. If you can't even offer yourself protection, how can you protect the ones you're supposed to love?
'til the roof comes off. 'til the lights go out. 'til my legs give out, can't shut my mouth
Thank you for your kind comments. Unfortunately what we have done to us with our own damaged parents, can play out in our own parenting. I know how I've failed my own children, and it's painful to realise this and watch the consequences of that materialise in my children's behaviours. Not that I take the entire blame for this, as their dad has his own FOO issues that influence him in how he interacts and loves his children. So the perfect storm really.
As mentioned earlier, you are a big influence on my lightbulb moments of really getting how little we value ourselves in our choice to commit adultery. It's why I never really FELT the impact of what I had done as I was no where in the equation. That has been a huge eye opener for me, and kept the focus of trying to get to the core of it all, on myself. Thank you
You are right. We can't protect others, when we can't even take care of ourselves. I take some comfort though in that I know now I have the courage to face myself, even if its not pretty. And with each painful realisation I am slowly starting to forgive myself. Not fully there yet.
ETA for clarity
[This message edited by ophelia24 at 4:27 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)]
I'm still a work in progress but I'm getting there.
[This message edited by Clarrissa at 4:46 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)]
All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.
As Socrates said "the unexamined life is not worth living".
Gotta love the truth of that.