I need to keep it ended... crumbs aren't good enough anymore. I guess the lesson to myself is that they never should have been... but in all fairness, there was a time that was all I wanted and gave as well. It worked when it worked. Just doesn't anymore. Yeah, and you know my story too with XSO. It was fun and exciting when it was working, and heartbreaking when it wasn't. And he kept me busy wondering where the relationship was going, how he felt, what our "status" was....all kinds of stuff so I wouldn't have to look at my own life and figure out what was really missing....I knew I deserved better...though.
Part of it with guys like that is the thrill of the hunt, the excitement of the moments, the romance and fantasies...
But at some point, like you wrote, it just isn't enough anymore. At some point, we need to have someone IRL that is there for us when we need them, not when it is convenient for them.
The drama and excitement and the roller coaster stuff can be addictive. It is a difficult withdrawal to go thru. But I find I just don't want that anymore. I want "real" for a change. And XSO just doesn't look so romantic anymore. These days, he just looks like an emotionally unstable little boy in a beautiful (yeah, he is still hot, so what?) grown up body.
I know y'all are tired of hearing it.Naah....I'm fine with it. Vent all you need to and if it takes 20 times to break up until it sticks, hey, it takes what it takes. I'm in no position to judge.
Have fun at the beach!