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User Topic: O M G My daughter was touched by her teacher
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Shocked  Posted: 12:11 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG!!!

I JUST got a call from the vice principal. My 14 year old daughter was touched by her scinece teacher TWICE on the butt. There are witnesses...Im shaking.
Police was called.

HELP!
WHaT do I do?????????????


Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
lynnm1947
♀ Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What context was it in?


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7278 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
EvenKeel
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Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WTH???

It is strange (and good) there are witnesses though. Typically creepers are very good at making these situations "it is your word against mine".

Have you spoken to your DD yet? or the police? That should give you info on what your next move will be (ie if DD needs to talk to a counselor, etc).

Geez - this is awful, I am so sorry!!!!


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2176 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((EW)))

Try to calm down. You don't want your DD to think she's at fault. Let her know that you are upset, but not with her, because what happened was completely inappropriate. Let her know that you are there for her and will do whatever it takes to make sure she's safe in the future.


Posts: 11742 | Registered: Mar 2008
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This JUST happend!!! I am shaking. He apparantly touched several girls over a period of time. Several girl were touched by that teacher on the butt "touched and grabbed"

I am beside myself


Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
click4it
♀ Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((EW)))))

Talk with school principal and then make a report with the police - if you have not done so already.

So sorry hun. Not cool at all.


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25628 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OK so police has already been called. The teacher is "removed from the classroom".
I talked to my DD she is "fine" . I asked if I should come get her she said no, she does't watn to miss classes. SO it sounds like she was "just" touched on her butt and grabbed there.
VP said he will keep in touch and to talk to DD this eve and report any other info she may give.

ETA
I moved to this small city away from the big one I lived in b/c this city isblue ribbon school. They are nationally known for being a great school. People move here just for that reason alone (like I did)

So last year my son was beaten very badly, this year my daughter is touched...

WTF is this world coming to ???

[This message edited by Exit Wounds at 12:30 PM, September 19th (Thursday)]


Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 12:30 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((EW)))

The teacher needs to be removed completely and permanently. Unbelievable.

I'm glad your DD is doing OK with it.


Posts: 11742 | Registered: Mar 2008
Aubrie
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Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What context was it in?
Unless her butt spontaneously caught on fire, there is no context acceptable enough to justify his action.

I'm sorry EW.

Maybe I'm overprotective and dramatic, but I'd totally be at the school talking to VP and police.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne


Posts: 6291 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((EW & DD)))

Hug your DD. Reassure her that you support her and she did nothing wrong. Speak with VP. File police report and ask about a RO. Make sure the school counselor gives DD any support she needs. Also, let her dr know as a heads up. They don't need to do anything now, but it's good to have it in her chart in case she has issues down the road (ex - if she starts getting frequent stomach pains they could be caused by worrying). Also, consider making an IC appt for her. She may not feel she needs it, but even 1 session may help her.

I am so sorry this happened to her. What a complete jackass. Sending you and DD strength.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 12:33 PM, September 19th (Thursday)]


Posts: 35844 | Registered: Mar 2011
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I first thought that it might have been an accidental touch. You know, she might be on the black board, steps back and he steps forward and aquardly touched her but this is NOT what happend. This happend several times to several students over time w/ witnesses!!!!!!!!!

Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
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Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((EW and DD)))))) I'm so very sorry, honey. Seconding every thing jo said.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25714 | Registered: Aug 2011
JanetS
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Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I too sent my kids to private school to hopefully avoid some of the pitfalls of the public school system. Fortunately they did not experience what your kids did.

BUT, a teacher at this school, while my daughter was there, was arrested for sexual activities with 3 girls over 2 years....girls were in grade 10.

Sadly, he served his term "on weekends"...and he is still teaching, at another school, private boys school????? (this was over a decade ago).

And my nephew, while a student teacher, was charged with sexual exploitation of a 17 year old he tutored (outside of his school job, but still in a position of trust). He got a year in jail (few years ago). I don't believe he's served anytime yet. My info is from the internet (family will not discuss it). He also got a maternity leave substitute job for about a year. He appealed, lost on appeal...in July. He's still out, I think. He's not been teaching for a couple of years...I "think" that is now not going to happen.

He was married about a year ago, and his wife is expecting a child in March. Will he be in jail then?????

By these two examples, I see teachers getting away with it, even when they go through the legal process.

If there are others, hopefully they will step forward and make it easier for your daughter to stand up to this.

Breathe deep, let your daughter know that you support her all the way. And don't let the school or police try to sweep it under the rug.


Posts: 2585 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
RyeBread
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Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

EW,
So very sorry this happened to your DD. It's sickening.

VP said he will keep in touch and to talk to DD this eve and report any other info she may give.

If possible you might consider being present when the VP talks to your daughter.


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 1030 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
Nature_Girl
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Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with RyeBread, you should consider being present when your DD is talked to.

Overall your best way to support her is to let her know you unfailingly believe her. She needs to know that there is no context in which it's okay for her to be touched like that.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9820 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 4:20 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, several girls have been touched by this monster over the past few weeks (?). Now the girls decided to come foward and report it. He touched several of them and there are witnesses!

I will keep everyone updated.Thanks for all the advice and mojo and prayers.


Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
lynnm1947
♀ Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What context was it in?
Unless her butt spontaneously caught on fire, there is no context acceptable enough to justify his action.

I wasn't saying it was OK, Aubrie. I was trying to elicit more information, like for instance, did he smack her on the butt in a "way to go, girl!" manner? Just trying to understand the context. Again, not saying that would be OK.

[This message edited by lynnm1947 at 4:26 PM, September 19th (Thursday)]


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7278 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 6:41 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You absolutely need to be there for any questions or interview. She is a minor. I would also speak with the other girs parents and ask if they are retaining a lawyer. You should be represented legally while this creep is still on thenloose.

So sorry this happened. (((((EW & DD)))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8698 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
NaiveAgain
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Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry that this happened to your DD. Are you able to have open discussions with her about it? She does need to know her boundaries have been broached and it is not okay for anyone to ever touch her without her permission.

When something like this happens though, there is also a strong need for normalcy. Many times children and teenagers start to feel that there is something "wrong" or different, (even when there are others that this happened to) so while she will have to talk with police, try to maintain as much normalcy at home as possible. She still has to do her chores, she still is responsible for her homework, and let her lead on how much to talk about this. Some children will be more traumatized than others, and some will pretty much shake it off. As long as she isn't sweeping it under the rug, allow her to have the lead as far as how much she wants to talk about it but try to keep family routines as normal as possible.

((((hugs))))


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15288 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
courageous
♀ Member
Member # 34477
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't make a big deal about it to her. Se might feel a little embarrassed, guilty, or ashamed.

Watch for signs of change in her eating, problems sleeping, easily startled, or other out of ordinary behaviors. If she does some of these things please get her to a counselor.

(((Exitwound))). No one should ever be touched against their will


Me: BW (35)
Him: ExWH (31) EA/PA with MOW coworker
Married 9 years, 2 small kids
dday 3/12/2011 divorced fall 2012

My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.


Posts: 651 | Registered: Jan 2012
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