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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Trying to Reconcile - want to put gps tracker good/bad
hurthusband99
♂ New Member
Member # 39825
Default  Posted: 5:40 PM, September 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello, been 3 months since DD. Starting to believe my wife. At first she was working hard, we talked alot, and she agreed to sharing passwords, no contact, etc.

Recently she has been telling me there really was nothing and I am making up more in my head then there was.

However, still not convinced. Also, I have noticed her car has been driving about once a week about 3 miles further yet (because we are communicating so much via text, email etc) all day, I know that she should only be at home or work. The OM works about 1.5 miles away.

I was looking at getting a GPS tracker? Are there any good ones? Do they work? Is that wrong of me?


Posts: 13 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Canada
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, September 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hurthusband99,

That is very telling. Is it a specific day each week? Not sure if this is good advice or not but two things crossed my mind.

Can you follow her on the day it's been happening, maybe at her lunch-break time and see if she's going to OM's work?

Also, have you considered asking her about the extra 3 miles?


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37760 | Registered: Sep 2007
OK now
♀ Member
Member # 14459
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, September 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A gps tracker is an excellent idea although a little expensive.
If you ask her about the 3 miles and she has restarted the affair, then the truth is the last thing you will get.

Here's hoping that it a false alarm and there is a facile explanation for the extra 3 miles; like a visit to the grocery store. However it is plain that you understandably have suspicions concerning your wife's behavior at this point, so trust but verify is more appealing approach.


Posts: 1722 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
Knowing
♀ Member
Member # 37044
Default  Posted: 7:22 PM, September 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We have a motto around here: Trust but verify. If you need a GPS tracker to confirm or deny your suspicions, so be it.

[This message edited by Knowing at 7:22 PM, September 18th, 2013 (Wednesday)]


Me: BW, Him: fWH
Together 12 years
My EA (?) 2005-2011
His STA/PA: D-day: 19/09/12
TT: 08/12/12

We are in R.


Posts: 698 | Registered: Oct 2012
still-living
♂ Member
Member # 30434
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, September 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I installed a garmin running watch into the back of my wife vehicle and caught her going to the library to communicate to the MOM using the library's free computer and internet service. She was contacting the MOM to let him know their story was still sticking.


BH(me)47
WW 47 FOO Issues
DDay 11/09 Coworker
High School Sweethearts
Married 06/91
8 months TT
Sons 19 and 14
Recovery is constructing a pyramid of inference from which to see clearer.
The process involves using the reflexive loop.

Posts: 752 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Ches
UndecidedinMA
♀ Member
Member # 33732
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, September 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I gps'd him for 8 or 9 mos. I then did check ups on a intermittent basis. It kept me sane.

If this is what you need - do it


ME - BSO
Him - FWSO
OW - DBC Xwife
DDAY 09/14/11 ONS w/DBCxWOW with 4 mos EA
Solidly in R

Posts: 1005 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: MA
RockyMtn
♀ Member
Member # 37043
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, September 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If she has an iphone and you know her icloud PW, you can track her phone. No cost. Other devices may have this possibility.

I agree, I wouldn't ask her about the 3 miles. Especially since it sounds like she's been trying to gaslight you lately - telling you things are in your head.


Me, BS, 30s
Him, WS, 30s, Steppenwolf
Kids: Yep
D-Day 1: September 2011, 6 week EA
D-Day 2: January 2013, discovered EA was a PA; there was another PA in 2010. All TT.
Goal = serenity.

Posts: 667 | Registered: Oct 2012
RidingHealingRd
♀ Member
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 12:17 AM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also, have you considered asking her about the extra 3 miles?

^^^I would not advise doing this. If she is still engaged in an A it just tips her off. Better to follow or track her for while. I would not let on that you are suspicious, not yet.

If you have an iphone, and can be without it for the day, you could hide it in her car and use "find my phone" to track where she is. You obviously would want to silence your phone.


ME: 54 BS
HIM: 61 WH
Married: 28 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 3.5 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.


Posts: 2109 | Registered: Nov 2011
hurthusband99
♂ New Member
Member # 39825
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree about not asking about the extra 3 miles, as I don't want to get her to go deeper underground.

Its funny I do have worries that she may be gas'ing me. The only thing - which is good - besides this 3 miles - is every worry I have had since has really been clean.

However, saying that, I still am so shocked, as the person she had the affair with is NOT the person who I had suspected all along.


Posts: 13 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Canada
Stillkicking
♂ Member
Member # 38246
Default  Posted: 10:27 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is spyware that you can put on her cell phone.

If you both have iPhones and know her iCloud account like rocky said you can track her that way, there is an app you can download called find my iPhone, that's what I used. Works very well


You'll never learn to fly
until your standing at the cliff

I reserve my right to feel uncomfortable reserve my right to be afraid.
I make mistakes and I am humbled every step of the way.


Posts: 128 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 10

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