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Newest Member: JRconfused (45363)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Revenge Affair or Moving on during Separation?
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad to see that you are no contact with this guy. he was either a major player, or a major stalker. neither one good choice.

as you move on to a healthier you, you may want to consider why you let him continue fishing for so long. what were you getting out of it?

strength to you and your new little one

BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2995 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
♀ Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 1:27 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am glad to see you have ended the corresponding with the ole friend. That was just going to cloud your life further at this point.

However, do you think you were sending the old friend mixed messages?

You state:

He is nothing more than a distraction.

However, you told him:

I'm not exactly free right now

For anyone that was waiting in the wings for sooo long, he is just going to hear "she is not free right NOW...."

That would be enough for him to sink his hopes into.

Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.

Posts: 2181 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, September 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm late to this thread but I'll echo all of the others and I'm glad you've walked away from this train wreck waiting to happen.

Not because you are still M or because of how long you've been S but because this sounds all around toxic.

I'm considered a madhatter here - it is not something that I accept myself.

Identifying as a WS isn't at all comfortable but that isn't the reason why. It is because it makes the sad clown a BS and for some reason that makes me livid. I did not betray him.

I sure did betray myself though. Not for issues of sexual morality because I don't personally see an issue with sleeping around when you are not in an exclusive relationship but because I was broken, sick and bleeding and so full of rage that it harmed me. I didn't even do it to hurt him. I was hurting me.

Sometimes when you feel powerless or like you've lost control (not of faculties but of.... pride? illusion? Something in that area) hurting yourself can feel 'good'. I felt more in control when I started hurting myself more than he had hurt me.

False control of course - I was anything but in control.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 23
Pages: 1 · 2

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