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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 14
foundoutlater
♂ Member
Member # 32900
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nice Sal – be safe. I’m headed there later – comfortably numb.


Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your behavior does.

Posts: 1062 | Registered: Jul 2011
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When you wake up Sal

What bothers me the most is that I still lean towards trusting her. Towards naivety.

Gotcha. My wife broke NC after 18 months. Bugger me - I thought I was safe. Reinforced to me that I never will be again. Because every time I thought I was safe, she betrayed me. Numb sounds great.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3303 | Registered: Dec 2011
stilllovingher
♂ Member
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

don't worry guys,
it does get bet..tughlp...uhh, sorry, just threw up in my mouth a little.

what was I saying?


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2385 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
ontheslope
♂ Member
Member # 40574
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks SLH... I needed that laugh.

Cheers, all. Here's to the best bunch of guys that I never wanted to have to meet.


Me: BH, 35
Her: WW, 36
Two girls 7 & 10
Married 12 years
Dday: July, 2009

She wants answers... I'm still trying to figure out what the questions are.


Posts: 255 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Maine, USA
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yep.
In this, I began to hide my weakness, my naivete. Plus it began to limit her entrance into my soul, her destructive corrosive entrance (that's how strong I am boys)
I began to hide myself, learned how to on the fly, now I'm an expert!

For an autodidact, it sure feels strange to be sharp as a marble.
Still. We stumblingly learn how to be at peace
in the quiet of ourselves...


Posts: 6012 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gents, this is off topic but it's really important: the Sam Adams Octoberfest is terrible. Save yourself ten bucks and mix some unsweetened tea with dog shit, then an essence of pumpkin.

That is all.


D Day: 6/13/13
Moving on. Every Single Day.

Posts: 490 | Registered: Jul 2013
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 9:58 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And if Sam Adams is on here we are sorry you found us. Go read the healing library. It's in yellow In the top left corner. And stop making shitty beer.


D Day: 6/13/13
Moving on. Every Single Day.

Posts: 490 | Registered: Jul 2013
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I really like the Sam Adams Oktoberfest... That being said, this:
And if Sam Adams is on here we are sorry you found us. Go read the healing library. It's in yellow In the top left corner.
is fucking classic.


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1604 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
Mr. Kite
♂ Member
Member # 28840
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes I wish I could get comfortably numb along with the rest of you, but I drank a lifetime's worth of booze during my 20's and had to either quit or die. So I lift my glass of Welch's grape juice to you all in a silent toast. Have a good weekend!

Posts: 900 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Mid-Atlantic
stilllovingher
♂ Member
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 10:25 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

glad I made you laugh, OTS.
That was my aim.

I've only had a couple Sam Adams that I liked, problem is, there's so damn many of them that I can't remember which two I liked.
so I just don't drink them anymore.

lately, on the rare occasions when I do drink, its been fosters, and my W likes it so that makes for a cheaper night.
My friends that we visit regularly drink blue moon...
tried:
blue moon: pumpkin something...no go.

blue moon: short straw...not bad.


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2385 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 10:31 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you Mr.kite. stay away. I've lost many people to addiction. I admire your strength. I'll toast a bottle of Welches when I have your courage


D Day: 6/13/13
Moving on. Every Single Day.

Posts: 490 | Registered: Jul 2013
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And stop making shitty beer.

Oh no, thems fightin words.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7107 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
MoreWould
♂ Member
Member # 37982
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love good beer, but good tequila is my "chronic". W likes it too,which is good because a successful R is built on things you have in common.

But speaking of Chronic, we legalized the demon weed here in Colorado. Not recommended as a daily habit if you also want to get shit done, but I have never seen an AD that can stop an "A anxiety" attack dead in it's tracks like a few deep hits of medical grade. It da kine!

Retail sales going live in the New Year. Puts a whole new spin on "medical tourism". Ya'll come get healed, now.

Whoops, W just stopped by. I think I feel a little anxiety coming on right now...


Me BH/WH, 63
Her WW/BW, 62
Her DDay Dec 1976 OMW at the door
My DDay, ~ 2years later, confessed ONS the next day
R via "Sweeping under the rug"
Still married, 40 yrs, mostly OK
2 kids, 24 & 20

Posts: 347 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Colorado
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 10:53 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LOL, could use some meds like that about now. Dunno if it's an attack of the POLF or what, but I'm giving a whole lot less of a shit how much more she's doing. Just a general pissed offedness.

Just pulled the JD from the freezer. Looks like I'm skipping the pepsi and lemon and going for the beer chasers.

Cheers gentlemen. Mr K, congrats on your sobriety. You can be the DD tonight. I'll buy for you.

Damn, what a great group of guys. Thanks to one and all.


BH 50, WW 41
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 19(Hers),DS 8 Ours, DGS 2 1/2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2068 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
foundoutlater
♂ Member
Member # 32900
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Another Saturday shot to hell at work. Time to go home, play with the kids and have one of those awful Sam Adam Oktoberfest. Sunsetslost if you are close by I’d take the ones you have left off your hands.


Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your behavior does.

Posts: 1062 | Registered: Jul 2011
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good day. Dropped two trees, cut em up and stacked. Went shoe shopping with the lovely wife, got some shit for the house, yada yada yada.

Reason I'm posting is I need to know who is serious about OBX around the 4th of July next year. It's going to happen. And it's going to be Awesome (capitol A awesome). Golf, drinking, house on the beach, and doing the big chill with some of the most awesome menz you'll ever meet.

Let's get this party started.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3303 | Registered: Dec 2011
ontheslope
♂ Member
Member # 40574
Default  Posted: 6:16 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Excuse the ignorance but.... OBX?


Me: BH, 35
Her: WW, 36
Two girls 7 & 10
Married 12 years
Dday: July, 2009

She wants answers... I'm still trying to figure out what the questions are.


Posts: 255 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Maine, USA
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:40 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Outer Banks.
I'm gonna try real hard to get us a house on the beach for a menz only gtg...for 6...if I can do it, I'll try to add days before &/or after that weekend. The first 6 commits get pickins, the next 6 get the floor. (or the sand - it's soft)
It's dicey money-wise, but Tred's helping on the deal end, so we'll see.

We can work on the script for Marble Collectors & other stuff maybe...


Posts: 6012 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My marriage just imploded.

Just days after what seemed like a beautiful R, I feel like we're done. I simply can't trust her. Her default position is dishonesty. I can't trust her to be straight with me about simple things.

I have sympathy for my wife. No one who came from her FOO could be expected to be normal and healthy. Not even close. But I'm not ready to sacrifice the second half of my life to deep-seated dysfunction.

She seems to be a shining light in so many ways, a pillar of the community, a truly beautiful person - except in her relationship with me. Or any man, really. She saw the worst of husband-wife relations as a child...a promiscuous mother (who turned out to be a victim of horrible CSA), a cheating father and uncles who were serial adulterers, and those memories are permanently imprinted on her heart, soul and mind.

I'm emotionally exhausted. The well is dry. I love my children more than anything but right now the thought of decades of pain and turmoil with a person who can lie to me as easily as she draws a breath and betray me hundreds of times like a normal part of her daily routine seems like more than I have.

If any waywards are reading this and still hope to salvage their marriage, listen carefully. For God's sake...STOP LYING. About big things, little things, anything at all. You're doing permanent and irreparable damage to what's left of your marriage.


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1028 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Two things of note today. Last night, found out one of my workout buddies and ex-coworkers just became a WH. Rather, I'm sure he has been one for a hot minute now and I'm just finding out. I knew him and his wife were having issues and he was moving out....but quite honestly I thought she would've been the cheater, due to the "apple's approximate distance from tree" principle, since I know her mom and sister. So that fucking sucks.

I don't see him often, but when I do I'm going to verbally strip the bark off that fucker....he and his young wife have two kids under 3, and he was already SERIOUSLY out kicking his coverage, KWIM? Dumbass.

On a happier note, one of my other friends got engaged today, and my wife and I are having dinner with him and his fiancee on Tuesday evening. I'm thinking bout giving him some good, practical (bot NOT jaded) advice on his marriage...any advice? I was going to go with some advice on having "friends of the marriage."


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1604 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
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