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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 14
MoreWould
♂ Member
Member # 37982
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

aesir,

Yeah, "the poor dishwasher" is right. In Belgium, each beer has a specific glass that it "must" be served in. If a bar has 100 kinds of beer (not unusual), then they also have 100 different kinds of glasses. Sure does make for a pretty back bar.

This topic is so much more fun than my FWW's A, and, more fun than she is most days. And THIS is a successful R. My heart bleeds for all the brothers that still struggle. I guess I'll have to raise a few glasses to you all tonight.

May your path be clear, may the road be easy, and may there be no fucking unicorns at the end of your personal rainbow.

[This message edited by MoreWould at 6:06 PM, September 20th (Friday)]


Me BH/WH, 63
Her WW/BW, 62
Her DDay Dec 1976 OMW at the door
My DDay, ~ 2years later, confessed ONS the next day
R via "Sweeping under the rug"
Still married, 40 yrs, mostly OK
2 kids, 24 & 20

Posts: 347 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Colorado
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This topic is so much more fun than my FWW's A, and, more fun than she is most days. And THIS is a successful R. My heart bleeds for all the brothers that still struggle. I guess I'll have to raise a few glasses to you all tonight.

No kidding on that. A toast to the brothers that are still struggling.

[This message edited by wonderboy at 6:35 PM, September 20th (Friday)]


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

aesir - Ever since you've mentioned Belgian ales, I've been trying to think what my favorites are. There's so many. I think I've got it narrowed down to Kasteel, Gulden Draak, and Westmalle. Not necessarily in that order.
I am rather fond of Belle vue Kriek, shown here in the proper glass that resembles a brandy snifter. Rather appropriate for a beer that is made with cherries. And when is the last time you had a beer that was sealed with a cork.

Yeah, "the poor dishwasher" is right. In Belgium, each beer has a specific glass that it "must" be served in. If a bar has 100 kinds of beer (not unusual), then they also have 100 different kinds of glasses. Sure does make for a pretty back bar.
Yeah, and they all have to be handwashed to be Beer Clean, using a six step method I believe, then rinsed out again just before pouring a new beer.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Belle Vue makes some good stuff. That is an awesome cherry beer.

And when is the last time you had a beer that was sealed with a cork.

Last Saturday, actually! My brother and I split a bottle of Lindemans Gueuze Cuvée René. That is some tart stuff. But good.


Posts: 4549 | Registered: Dec 2010
slater13
♂ Member
Member # 39008
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We'll brothers we did the timeline/ story at MC today. It was weak. Not really anything I didn't know and few details. A lot of "and then we had sex". She told maybe 5 stories of a 3 year LTA with likely 50-100 hook ups.

I remained quite - only asking a few clarifying questions. I did learn about one entirely new incident- this is -19 months post Dday. Still getting TT. REALLY starting to doubt the success of our R.

The only good news is that I am out of town doing what I love this weekend with friends.


The choices we make reveal the true nature of our character

Posts: 153 | Registered: Apr 2013
kg201
♂ Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 10:17 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Slater, sorry the MC wasn't more for you. One thing I wonder about is why all the details matter about the hook-ups? I'm not in a position to judge, as I haven't been talking with my WW, but I see her 3.5 years as one big pile of shit. Why do I need to break it up into smaller piles? I know that some folks find the details important, so it sounds like it is important for you.

Enjoy your weekend mate.


Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
---------------------------------
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 380 | Registered: Aug 2013
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Slater - Sorry to hear the timeline wasn't all you were hoping for. And more TT to boot... that just sucks.

Hope you are able to decompress and have a good time with your buds this weekend. Take care.


Posts: 4549 | Registered: Dec 2010
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 3:29 AM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I see her 3.5 years as one big pile of shit. Why do I need to break it up into smaller piles?
Kind of like psychological composting. You have to turn it over frequently and thoroughly for a while if you want to make it safe for anything to grow in.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
kg201
♂ Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 7:54 AM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nice aesir. Composting is important, but takes time. If they aren't willing to turn things over, then it is much easier to just go to the store and buy your produce...and it doesn't smell like shit.


Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
---------------------------------
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 380 | Registered: Aug 2013
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, details for me meant locking down my own compulsion to create details.

As for a different glass for each beer, that sounds kinda gimmicky. Fun and cool so long as it isn't SRS BSNS.

The U.S. gets a bad beer reputation for the wrong reasons. The post prohibition alcohol laws really fucked over the brewing process in the sense that while it was meant to prevent monopolization it actually caters to it - not to venture far into politics here but the beer lobby spends more on politics than both the gun and tobacco lobbies combined. If you're interested there's a great documentary called Beer Wars done by the gal who started Mikes Hard Lemonade.

I'll just come out and say it right now: I think the U.S. brews the best beer in the world behind the British. So long as you avoid the InBev (south American company FYI) brands you can find some amazing brews. Credit for that comes from the fact all our brews are brought over from the rest of the world. We are the melting pot of beers.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7107 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 10:06 AM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Anheuser-Busch InBev is a publicly traded company (Euronext: ABI) based in Leuven, Belgium

They greased palms to prohibit craft beers in a St. Louis beer festival awhile back.
They are bad players.

Next week during the gtg down here, there's another beer festival @ a mile away from the Pecan St. Festival.
We have more than a dozen craft brewers here locally & more are coming:

http://texascraftbrewersfestival.org/featuring

I'll be lucky to survive the day


Posts: 6012 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Re: details.

For me it was several things. The psychological composting that aesir referenced is one factor. It's hard to rugsweep and go into denial about your own behavior when you have to verbalize it and feel the shame that results. Also, I'm her husband so she has no right to keep sexual secrets from me. I'm supposed to be there when she's having sex, after all. Third, she's my wife and I already know what she'll do/ won't do in bed. I had no illusions about what happened after about 100 hookups, but I wanted her to tell me because it's hard to do and she deserves to have to work hard to repair the enormous damage she did to our marriage. Telling all requires a painful degree of honesty, which was in short supply with her during her affair. Honesty is a good habit for waywards to develope.

ETA:

Slater, sorry about the TT. My wife seemed determine to whitewash her affair until I confronted her lies with the threat of a polygraph. I told her that I was going to set up a poly for next week. I then asked her questions and gave her one last chance to come clean. If the poly showed that she lied about any of them, she would be served with divorce papers before the end of the week. It worked - she spilled her guts to such a degree that I knew the whole truth came out. This was 3 months after D Day. That has accelerated our healing, but I doubt seriously she would have come clean at all if I hadn't boxed her into a corner like that.

I know it sucks, but suspect that what you're getting from your wife is the norm.

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 10:36 AM, September 21st (Saturday)]


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1028 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
ontheslope
♂ Member
Member # 40574
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Slater man... sorry to hear about the TT at MC. Tough. Like hoping for a good Christmas present and getting a lump of coal instead.

As for craft beers - hands down US has some of the best. I've been all over and have yet to find a micro-brew that didn't make my mouth water in anticipation.

The thing a lot of people don't get is how complex a beer can be. So much more so than wine, IMHO. It really is an amazing mix of flavors, and when the balance is just right - damn. Heaven.


Me: BH, 35
Her: WW, 36
Two girls 7 & 10
Married 12 years
Dday: July, 2009

She wants answers... I'm still trying to figure out what the questions are.


Posts: 255 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Maine, USA
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're right jj, Brazil was one of their HQs before they turned into the giant they are now. Got myself mixed up.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7107 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
fireguy87
♂ New Member
Member # 36992
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Slater - Sorry about your TT. Unfortunately that's about all some of us will ever get.

Is it to late to get in on the list?

#38 - I felt like we were just roommates.
#39 - He makes me laugh.
#40 - I never meant to hurt you.
#41 - You know, you two are so much alike. (WTF)

[This message edited by fireguy87 at 12:44 PM, September 21st (Saturday)]


Me - FBH
Happened many years ago
Reconciled

Posts: 40 | Registered: Sep 2012
doubleboggy
♂ Member
Member # 40622
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

#42 "He was fun"
#43 "But I thought I loved him"


I have became what I have beheld and am content that I have done right. - Elliot Ness

Posts: 84 | Registered: Sep 2013
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

#40 - I never meant to hurt you.

i.e., I never meant to get caught!

I got that line too fireguy. There must be a WW handbook.


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1028 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
ontheslope
♂ Member
Member # 40574
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I also got #40 - which to me is akin to pointing a gun at someone, pulling the trigger and then claiming that you never meant to shoot them.


Me: BH, 35
Her: WW, 36
Two girls 7 & 10
Married 12 years
Dday: July, 2009

She wants answers... I'm still trying to figure out what the questions are.


Posts: 255 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Maine, USA
fireguy87
♂ New Member
Member # 36992
Default  Posted: 3:06 PM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah.

When she said that my response was, "so when you stuck his dick in your mouth willingly and you laid on your back willingly while he climbed on you and stuck his dick in you and proceeded to screw you and finish in you, you did so never once meaning to hurt me?"

Her response "I never meant to hurt you" again


Me - FBH
Happened many years ago
Reconciled

Posts: 40 | Registered: Sep 2012
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Breaking Bad meme of the day... and also the poster for "The Marble Collectors"...


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1604 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
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