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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 14
SI Staff
Moderator
Member # 10
Default  Posted: 4:12 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We are opening another Betrayed Mens thread for you all, however, Please read below.

This is a moderated thread like all the threads on SI.

We expect you to know that while women may not be allowed to post on here, they do read it, so showing respect and not generalizing is mandatory, as is following all guidelines of this site.

In the past we've have to spend an inordinate amount of time watching this thread.

When we do step in it's for a valid reason, and we expect to be treated with respect, just as we treat you with respect.

We want you all to get support in your Club House

[This message edited by SI Staff at 4:12 PM, September 17th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 4:13 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WELCOME TO THE MENZ THREAD!!!!

Without stepping on the mods toes...we menz abide by a certain set of rules (within the forum guidelines of course)

First:

Second, we iz here to learn.

But we can have fun too!

But mostly...we learn about ourselves, and make snide remarks about POSERS.


P.s. beware the laser cats.


How many seizures did I just cause?

[This message edited by wonderboy at 4:27 PM, September 17th (Tuesday)]


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Speaking to the slapping thing last thread - I think I probably would have slapped her right the fuck back. That is the high point of self centered bullshit. As if you were there specifically to prey on her or something and by saying you're married you're really inviting her home for an orgy with the wife and your three pet ferrets Pimples, Roger and Funcow.

Also the most blatant thing I noted after dday was while we were all in Target and I had wandered off to see if they had the tea I like. I was standing there looking at the weird arrays of teas they have for everything from shitting better to going to sleep better, both of which confuse me since beer helps both of those a lot better than tea does but anyway I am standing there and some woman passed by the aisle, then stops and actually steps back twice and very obviously looks me up and down. I was exhausted that day so I just kind of blinked owlishly at her and as far as I can recall she grinned and walked on. I was in pretty decent shape because I was still going to the gym but I dunno if I was being fucked with because I have honestly never seen that in real life before or since, and I honestly do not merit that.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7107 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Slapping her back would not be the correct solution to the problem. I find that in situations like that, condescension is much more effective. I think it's just a wrong for a woman to hit a man as it is for a man to hit a woman but there is something to be said for regulating your behavior due to sexual dimorphism. I'm 6'8" tall and I weigh a bit over 200lbs. I'm not a small guy. If I hit somebody, even if it's just a slap, I could really hurt them. Plus, my grandfather's ghost would probably murder me and I would have it on my conscience for the rest of my life.

As for putting out the wounded vibes, I didn't get hit on at all right after Dday. I did get asked out by the young lady who cut my hair the day my divorce went final (and I was hurting that day so maybe she smelled the blood in the water) but I honestly didn't really get a whole lot of attention at first. Could have been the bags under my eyes.

[This message edited by h0peless at 4:31 PM, September 17th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 1323 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Arizona
damaged71
♂ Member
Member # 36004
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not sure what the deal was but after the comment that someone made about her "broken man radar" made me think.

I often think people are hardwired a certain way. I almost want to ask her about her past history with men and see if there are some parallels. I would like to ask her but that might border on a little odd.

She picked me totally out of the crowd. I am a pretty large guy, that being said I should have been a spy. I find that I have the ability to go un-noticed that borders on supernatural. So when this gal comes up to my car she says, "hey do you work over by so and so". I said "yes I do". She said "I saw you walking down the street the other day. I was going to honk and wave but didn't know if you'd remember me".

I'm generally nice to everyone but I am puzzled at why this very attractive woman that's about 10 years younger than me, zeroed in on me.

Confusing. I'll update this saga more as it plays out I guess.

[This message edited by damaged71 at 4:31 PM, September 17th (Tuesday)]


I didn't know there was this much emotional pain in the universe!
Me 42
Her 44
D-day 5.18.12
Currently in R

Posts: 305 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: damaged71
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is it too early to start spamming this thread for the end?

Hopeless, those wounded pheromones come from the heart and are lighter than air. I think you probably had a case where they were just drifting over the heads of all the women.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 5:03 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Never too early aesir...

And I finally made it onto the first page of the thread...



Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 957 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
MoreWould
♂ Member
Member # 37982
Default  Posted: 5:18 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

H0pe...

I think you have hit on the definitive descriptor of the phenomenon.

blood in the water

I'm using it from now on. Does it merit it's own acronym?

BITW

Still doesn't explain why a guy in the supermarket with an infant is such a chick magnet though. OK, everybody loves babies, but I had women hit on ME. If a guy with a ring and a baby isn't just married, but full-on committed, I don't know who is.

Back to the slap. I think she had me figured for an easy lay and was violently disappointed. Didn't really hurt me, but wasn't a love tap. She was pissed. Must of been drinking the BITW Kool-Aid. It ain't just the Big Bad Men, sharks come in Wimenz flavor too.

[This message edited by MoreWould at 5:23 PM, September 17th (Tuesday)]


Me BH/WH, 63
Her WW/BW, 62
Her DDay Dec 1976 OMW at the door
My DDay, ~ 2years later, confessed ONS the next day
R via "Sweeping under the rug"
Still married, 40 yrs, mostly OK
2 kids, 24 & 20

Posts: 347 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Colorado
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 5:25 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Still doesn't explain why a guy in the supermarket with an infant is such a chick magnet though. OK, everybody loves babies, but I had women hit on ME. If a guy with a ring and a baby isn't just married, but full-on committed, I don't know who is.

A female POSER(Rikki) would target a MM for the perceived stability he could seemingly offer. She would likely be ignorant of the fact that, if he took her up on her offer, he's none too stable himself.

Just a thought


BH 50, WW 41
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 19(Hers),DS 8 Ours, DGS 2 1/2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2068 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 5:29 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I suppose there are predator females just as there are predator males. From what Ive heard predator males seek out women with low self esteem that they can manipulate. Maybe its the same for women predators.

In my younger days I was given the look over a few times by women. Thing is that I'm mostly oblivious to shit like that. I remember one of my mates telling me that a woman was giving me the look, and my reply was something like *huh? who? what?*

Ive never been much of a *player* tho. WW says Im like a woman because I always wanted a relationship with the woman. Altho I have to admit to a couple of ONS when I was a much younger fellow.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3084 | Registered: Sep 2007
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think she had me figured for an easy lay and was violently disappointed.

Pure gold, MoreWould.

I think that's what happened with my WW and the OM. They both mistook the other for an easy lay. Sadly, neither was disappointed - violently or otherwise.

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 5:33 PM, September 17th (Tuesday)]


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1028 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some people just don't give a fuck about wrecking a family.

We just moved up to Everett. We have a single neighbor how lives up the alley from us. Found out I was a lawyer and holy shit, wouldn't stop coming around. It was creepy and obvious. She didn't know two shits about me, but was all over my me.

this woman knows that I have three kids, knows that I have been married for 14 years, but would have no problem trying to get into my pants. Just a lack of fucking decency.


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 5:51 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If he were to punch you in the face, you would have to fight off the urge to thank him....


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 426 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nice clock!


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 6:19 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

touché, I'm going to have happy dreams about poser getting vaporized by lightening tonight!


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 426 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
Mr. Kite
♂ Member
Member # 28840
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Damn! I step away from the pc for a few hours and you guys are already posting in a new thread. Did I forget to mention I have abandonment issues?

Kite man... that's horrible.

It's my own fault, 'ontheslope.' I chose to raise my son and then opted for financial security over integrity and peace of mind. The possibility of losing my house and half my stuff has always rubbed me the wrong way.


Posts: 900 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Mid-Atlantic
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 6:30 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Still doesn't explain why a guy in the supermarket with an infant is such a chick magnet though. OK, everybody loves babies, but I had women hit on ME. If a guy with a ring and a baby isn't just married, but full-on committed, I don't know who is.

Responding to "Oh he's so handsome" with "He gets his good looks from his mama" is like dropping a massive fart during a solemn speech. A carefully neutral look followed by instant disengagement. If we have another kid sometime I am gonna try "His dick is a lot bigger than mine too!" just to see the reaction.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7107 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:38 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shark, predator, bitw - reminds me of a recent entry in the quote thread:

...disordered people can spot me, "Like A Lion Spots A Limp!"

Tred, I guessed wb-shirt bc of the circular appearance of red/sunburn in the photo.
You're a handsome dude, and funny as hell - just goes to show it's another affairing-down.

I'm sorry the staff has had to spend an inordinate amount of time in the clubhouse. I have only had the briefest of peeks behind the scenes with what they deal with here, and it's crazymaking at its finest.
Thank God it's in the past though!

Srsly. There's no amount of words to thank you enough for this healing site. I'd be navigating shitcreek w/out it.

Guys, interested in a fundraiser?
(I did this awhile ago, but didn't really complete it - no winners were announced)
This time, v 2.0, I think we can come up with something...
Like a case of beer for the winner, a handle of ..., or for our recovering other brothers - a ticket to Jamaica(?)
We'd all have to pitch in, because I'm having a hard time getting the OBX saved for,
whatever.
Here's the bet -

What is the % of menz to wimmenz here?
Each % guessed - 10 bucks.

I'll start.
10%

Not only that.
I want to 'challenge' the wimmenz. Say it IS 10%, and we raise a hundred bucks. Challenge is, the wimmenz have to match us...
They'd have to raise a thou to beat us.
Sound good?
Place yer bets.


Posts: 6012 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
MoreWould
♂ Member
Member # 37982
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

From what Ive heard predator males seek out women with low self esteem that they can manipulate. Maybe its the same for women predators.

And


disordered people can spot me, "Like A Lion Spots A Limp!"

Yep, Blood in the Water. I read somewhere that a shark can smell one part in millions.

Yeah, I never had any Game either, didn't even know when women were hitting on me until I'd been married a long time. There's a reason why the Lord's Prayer includes

Lead us not into temptation.

Because, humans suck at dealing with it.


Me BH/WH, 63
Her WW/BW, 62
Her DDay Dec 1976 OMW at the door
My DDay, ~ 2years later, confessed ONS the next day
R via "Sweeping under the rug"
Still married, 40 yrs, mostly OK
2 kids, 24 & 20

Posts: 347 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Colorado
ontheslope
♂ Member
Member # 40574
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's my own fault, 'ontheslope.' I chose to raise my son and then opted for financial security over integrity and peace of mind. The possibility of losing my house and half my stuff has always rubbed me the wrong way.

Dang man... if I wrote those words myself they couldn't be more true.

What the hell... my wife gets to be fucked by another man and if I decide to do something about it I get the privilege of being fucked by the courts.

"Sorry big guy," says the judge. "I know you wife cheated on you, but.... she gets half your stuff and, oh yeah, you get to write checks to her for the next 10 years."


Me: BH, 35
Her: WW, 36
Two girls 7 & 10
Married 12 years
Dday: July, 2009

She wants answers... I'm still trying to figure out what the questions are.


Posts: 255 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Maine, USA
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