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Newest Member: doihavechoice (44727)

Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I cried
July73
♂ New Member
Member # 37426
Default  Posted: 11:11 PM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was watching a movie the other night about a family that was on vacation and was separated by a Sunami.

I cried. I cried when the wife and one son thought their husband/father and 2 brothers were dead. I cried when the father told others he would not give up until he found his wife. I cried when he thought she was dead. I cried when I thought of what I would do in that situation. I cried for how hopeless I would feel. I cried when I thought of what I would do if she was gone. I cried when I said I would never give up and would not stop looking for her. I cried...

I cried when I realized that I am looking for her now, and how I will not stop until I find her. I cried when I thought maybe she is gone and she don't want to be found. I cried...

To describe love is hard, but it's that feeling of something big happening and you can't wait to tell 1 person, to think your last thought of at night and the first thought in the morning is of 1 person, hope she sleeps well, hope she slept well. Simple things like, that person you want share a new taste with like a fancy meal or even an ice cream, even sitting quietly not even talking and feeling comfortable, seeing her smile, seeing her worry about a meal she has prepared with such care and thought, a few examples. This is why I believe love is not just action, but feeling to. I believe you can show and feel love. I cried when I realized I was not showing love to the one person that deserved it, who showed me love by actions and feelings. So how was I able to allow myself to be that selfish and destroy her love.

All I was thinking when this was running through my head was, how could have I done this to someone I said I love so much. Why was I so uncaring to not even see what the A would do to her.

I was so selfish that all I was thinking about was me.
I cried....

I am so sorry for taking you for granted and destroying our love, for destroying the best person I have had the pleasure to know, I will keep looking for you.

[This message edited by July73 at 11:11 PM, September 16th (Monday)]


WH Me 41
BW 39
M 18 yrs.
LTA 1.5 yrs.
D-day Sept 21,2012. Worst day of my life... can not imagine how it must have been for my loving wife. I am so sorry.

Posts: 38 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Alberta,Canada
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:46 AM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like some really good, foundational sentiments came out of this.

It's really good that you are able to share this. I hope that you both find peace throughout your journey.


It is better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie. -Russian Proverb

Posts: 17067 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Daddo
♂ Member
Member # 4504
Default  Posted: 2:53 AM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read posts like yours, and I think, "there's hope."

Thank you for expressing remorse and pain so thoughtfully and honestly. This what BSes need to see, to read, to know. I don't know your story, but I know that this kind of honest repentance can help rekindle marriages left for dead. Good luck to you.


It's just so sad
But I'm moving on feeling better

Posts: 2468 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Cupertino, CA
July73
♂ New Member
Member # 37426
Default  Posted: 8:09 AM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, My only hope is that my wife see's that this is the true me, and that I will continue for as long as it takes. Sometimes these thoughts and feelings come out of nowhere and hit you like a ton of bricks.


WH Me 41
BW 39
M 18 yrs.
LTA 1.5 yrs.
D-day Sept 21,2012. Worst day of my life... can not imagine how it must have been for my loving wife. I am so sorry.

Posts: 38 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Alberta,Canada
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh gosh, I cried at that movie as well!

what a great post!


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...


Posts: 4779 | Registered: Dec 2010
July73
♂ New Member
Member # 37426
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Rachelc that was hard to write. True feelings can be tough to put to words


WH Me 41
BW 39
M 18 yrs.
LTA 1.5 yrs.
D-day Sept 21,2012. Worst day of my life... can not imagine how it must have been for my loving wife. I am so sorry.

Posts: 38 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Alberta,Canada
wwcrash
♀ New Member
Member # 40843
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Beautifully said. Eloquent. Expresses the deep remorse that we WS's ** do** experience. It is overwhelming at times.

Posts: 11 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: SE US
Topic Posts: 7

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