I have tried to stay out of this form because, if I am not in the D/S forum it MUST mean I am not D or S, right?
3 months S now and I still have not accepted that this is the end. WH ended A and initiated NC a week after he left home. DDay was 1 month ago and I thought since I found out, he would start fighting for our M. But he still says we dont work and he doesnt feel the same way about our relationship anymore. He says the only option is D.
Nothing has been done on his end about D and I do not plan to file either.
This all came out of no where! One week I think we have a damn good relationship and the next he is gone.
I have been 180 for 2 weeks now and it def has gotten better. The hurt, pain, and longing are still there and some days are way worse than others. This is not what I want. We have 2 young children and have been through so much together.
I am 26 and have been with him for 10 years. Not that I am looking to date or find someone tomorrow, but how is that even possible in the future? I cant have anymore kids so who would want a 26 year old with two kids and a whole lot of baggage?
I would rather 100 days of pain with him than 1 day of happiness with someone else. I know if we were both committed to making our M the best it could be, we would be even better than before.
I truly believe he has so much guilt which is keeping him away. I need to continue to move forward and not think about R but it is just so difficult.