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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Should I reply to this shit?
Fooled Me Twice
♀ Member
Member # 34824
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, September 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For a bit of background: DD is going on vacation with EXWH (really his parents) for a week Ė he asked for two more days in addition to the week, which I didnít have to agree to per the divorce decree. I agreed, however, to keep things amicable and I will be at work, per usual, during the day anyways so I was being nice. I asked for him to email me with her whereabouts and this is the exchange:

Him:
Here is the information about the time while DD is with me and my parents

Sunday 15th - Wednesday 18th : Will be staying at home.

Thursday 19th - Sunday 22nd : staying in a cabin in XXX. The address is Ė 123 Iím a Dick Lane, US 12345

Monday 23rd - Wednesday 24th - DD will be in XXX with my parents.

Would it be possible to drop DD off at 7pm on Wednesday 24th?

What to clarify that the Sunday 29th is my weekend again and that you will be dropping off?

Please bring DD with various clothes. It may be colder weather in Iím a Dick place and she will be going swimming with my parents at an indoor pool.

My Reply:
Thank you for sending the information on where DD will be. Please also confirm what number I can reach your parents at while they have her in case of an emergency.

To answer your questions:

No, I am not ok with you dropping her off at 7pm. Also, I assume you plan to drop her off on Wednesday the 25th? Not the 24th. (Day/date do not match with what you wrote below).

Yes, I intend to drop her off on Sept 29th as itís your normal weekend.

His Reply:
My parents cell number is 555-555-5555

Yes Wednesday 25th. We will drop her off at 6pm.

It is a shame you can not be more flexible with DD's schedule, especially when my parents are here and they dont get to see her that much.

As a reminder again please bring DD with some clothes, for her stay.

Thank you, see you Sunday

I should just not reply, correct? Itís so hard not to when heís being such a dick about an hour. I gave him 2 more days which I didnít have to, and this is his reply to an hour. DD isnít even 3yo yet and will have to get up in the morning which is why I said no to the 7pm drop off. And the clothing bit is bc heís trying to be a dick and bait me on that as well as Iíve never provided him clothing before and the last time he got a bug up his ass he all of a sudden wants me to follow the divorce decree. I donít know how Iím going to deal with his shit for the next 16 years. If this continues to be how he acts as soon as heís told no.

[This message edited by Fooled Me Twice at 12:40 PM, September 14th (Saturday)]


ME: BS 33 (now 34)
HIM: WS 33 (now 35)
OW: 22, howorker (now 24)
July 2007: Porn found on computer along with profiles on dating websites.
DDay: January 16, 2012 - suspicious since Dec 2011
Divorced: June 11, 2013

Posts: 209 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Here and There
Eyeofthetiger
♀ Member
Member # 40359
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, September 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am new to this forum but I would say don't reply. Do not give him the satisfaction of knowing he pissed you off. It is clearly what he was aiming for.


S

Posts: 129 | Registered: Aug 2013
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:10 PM, September 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wouldn't reply about the one hour difference (and yes, what a total dick!).

I would consider replying about the clothing. Can you afford a complete wardrobe for your DD that she won't be able to wear when she's with you (because of the climate difference)? If not, then tell him no, you cannot send clothing for this vacation since it would put an undue financial hardship on you to provide. He'll have to figure out how to clothe his daughter. Better yet, maybe the grandparents can indulge their granddaughter & outfit her!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9672 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Fooled Me Twice
♀ Member
Member # 34824
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, September 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NatureGirl - I am packing her with 2 outfits that are summerish and two pants/long tops that she still fits from last year. 4 pairs of underwear. And one bathing suit. That's it. He can do laundry. If he bitches I didn't supply more then I plan to tell him that I have yet to shop for her for fall/winter and that's what fits her from last year. He will need to supplement anything else he wants.

Moving forward as he only gets her one overnight at a time, I plan to have her wear the same thing over and over. See how he likes that...:)

Oh and if one of the tops I packed happens to say, "mommy's little cutie" that's purely an oversight on my part


ME: BS 33 (now 34)
HIM: WS 33 (now 35)
OW: 22, howorker (now 24)
July 2007: Porn found on computer along with profiles on dating websites.
DDay: January 16, 2012 - suspicious since Dec 2011
Divorced: June 11, 2013

Posts: 209 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Here and There
nomistakeaboutit
♂ Member
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, September 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I seem to see it a bit differently. Reading the email messages with an objective eye, I don't see that your xWH acted so poorly. He asked nicely. You responded without explanstion and a bit abruptly.

Why concede two days and then get yourself all wound up over an hour and be abrupt?

"Sorry, but 7:00 p.m. is really too late. She goes to bed soon after that and so she does need to be home by 6:00. I know your parents are there, but they did get two extra days. Thanks."

That's my take on it.

[This message edited by nomistakeaboutit at 1:36 PM, September 14th (Saturday)]


Me: BH 56.........Her: WW 43
DD: 6..........DS: 4
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
...................................
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"

Posts: 944 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
LadyQ
♀ Member
Member # 32847
Default  Posted: 9:08 AM, September 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He asked no legitimate question, therefore you owe no response. I know it can be hard, but you really need to not engage.


Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
damncutekitty
♀ Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 6:24 PM, September 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't respond to his crap. Just remind yourself that you are the good parent and he's still a selfish ass who thinks only of himself and can't be bothered to know when his daughter's bedtime is.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49476 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
Topic Posts: 7

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