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User Topic: OW catchphrases?
naivewife
♀ Member
Member # 38375
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thinking back to some of the many phrases OW liked to use (while talking to me before I knew what was going on and also said to WH), and wondering if they're common to the OW mentality. Please chime in!

"If it feels good I just go for it."
"I have no regrets in my life."
"You deserve this."
"You don't deserve that."
"We deserve this."

So is that what it all breaks down to? This incredible sense of entitlement and complete lack or responsibility for ones actions? I just wonder now, if all the times I've heard people use these statements if they're OWs?! Also, do OM's typically have that same kind of mentality? Any other popular OW's catchphrases?


D-day #1 - 1/23/13
false R, then...
D-day #2 - 3/26/13
I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons. - Hippocratic Oath

Posts: 341 | Registered: Feb 2013
niaveone
♀ Member
Member # 40317
Default  Posted: 1:52 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"You need a change" said by MOW to WS when he was complaining to her about us not getting along.

Of course he needed a change. He needed to leave his dedicated wife, the home of his children, so he can have *you*. The woman that would sleep with a sack if it gave her attention.


Me: BS
Him: WS
Married: 16 years
2 children
2 DDays

Posts: 193 | Registered: Aug 2013
musiclovingmom
♀ Member
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 1:52 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Her absolute favorite: 'If you're not taking care of your man at home, someone else will'.

Posts: 988 | Registered: Jan 2013
Holly-Isis
♀ Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She got this from her IC:

"Find your happy."


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

❣I hope my issues don't discourage ur healing. I've buried a lot & my WH hasn't done his part in R❣


Posts: 10985 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Limbo
simplydevastated
♀ Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 1:58 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just wonder now, if all the times I've heard people use these statements if they're OWs?!

Not everyone who uses those phrases are OW or have "entitlement" issues.

It really depends on the conversations that people are having at the time when the phrases you listed are used.

I could say "You deserve it" to a friend who had just told me that she worked crazy hours for two weeks and made herself an appointment for four hour spa session. That's not entitlement to me.

But that's just one example. There are plenty of times where I can see those phrases being used and considered "entitlement." It really depends on the people and the current convesations/situation.

I hope some of this helps.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5824 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
roses303
♀ Member
Member # 40161
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW used to have a pinterest board all full of lovely catchphrases about never regretting, and doing what makes you happy, living with passion, focusing on your needs, not judging others unless you yourself are perfect etc. So self centered and with no remorse what so ever.


Me: BW - 46
Him: WH - 49
MOW: my BFF from college and good friend for 25 yrs
Married 14 years, 2 Tweens
DD: 5/20/13 2 year long EA/PAs (one 7 yrs ago and one this past year)
Status: day by day, in MC, working on R

Posts: 141 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: roses303
simplydevastated
♀ Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just saw this.

"You need a change" said by MOW to WS when he was complaining to her about us not getting along.

Besides being completely wrong on so many levels. She shouldn't be allowed to speak to other human beings when all that will come out of her mouth is shit.

[This message edited by simplydevastated at 2:01 PM, September 13th (Friday)]


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5824 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
OldCow18
♀ Member
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She posted this on her FB wall:

Good girls are just bad girls that never get caught.

And then she commented on her own posting and said, "And the smartest"

I would love to punch that bitch in the face.


Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
roses303
♀ Member
Member # 40161
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm still trying to figure this one out. A few days after D-day and NC, she put up a new cover picture on her facebook account (the only public part that I can still see). It said "What Susie says about Sally says more about Susie than about Sally"

Was she implying that by calling her a bitch and a whore for sleeping with my husband and ruining a 25 year friendship I was somehow the whore. I accept the bitch title however, and if I ever come in contact with her again, she will see the extent of my bitchiness.


Me: BW - 46
Him: WH - 49
MOW: my BFF from college and good friend for 25 yrs
Married 14 years, 2 Tweens
DD: 5/20/13 2 year long EA/PAs (one 7 yrs ago and one this past year)
Status: day by day, in MC, working on R

Posts: 141 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: roses303
naivewife
♀ Member
Member # 38375
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW used to have a pinterest board all full of lovely catchphrases about never regretting, and doing what makes you happy, living with passion, focusing on your needs, not judging others unless you yourself are perfect etc. So self centered and with no remorse what so ever.

OW's BF that was also an OW had exact same sh*t on her pinterest page.

OW was also way into new agey "the universe is talking to me" BS. She used it to justify EVERYTHING she did. She even started seeing a therapist but wouldn't go to one unless he/she believed in "twin flames" (some ultra new age soul mate garbage) so that this "therapist" could tell her everything she wanted to hear - that she should doggedly pursue WH because they were one soul that was meant to be together.


D-day #1 - 1/23/13
false R, then...
D-day #2 - 3/26/13
I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons. - Hippocratic Oath

Posts: 341 | Registered: Feb 2013
LivingALie
♀ Member
Member # 17217
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know if this is considered a "catchphrase" or not - but one thing that OW said - which really just infuriated me was "they had a different level of love"

I'm with you OldCow - I want to punch her in the face every time I think about it.


Me: BS
H had LTA with co-worker
Both mid-50s
Two sons - grown and on their own
DD - April 2010
Please note registration date is not correct. See my profile for details
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 1250 | Registered: Nov 2007
roses303
♀ Member
Member # 40161
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH erased all the texts and emails before I ever got to read them except for a couple OW sent on D-day after WH told her "she found out" She said similar things about our love being true and pure and how he needed to get out of that prison he was living in and be free (mind you, she is married with 3 kids).

Punching her in the mouth would have been too good for her. I do get a bit of joy out of the fact that WH has been in NC since that day and he has no interest in ever contacting her again. He shut her down so her "true and pure love" really was just a fuck-buddy relationship on WHs side.


Me: BW - 46
Him: WH - 49
MOW: my BFF from college and good friend for 25 yrs
Married 14 years, 2 Tweens
DD: 5/20/13 2 year long EA/PAs (one 7 yrs ago and one this past year)
Status: day by day, in MC, working on R

Posts: 141 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: roses303
momwith2boys
♀ New Member
Member # 37459
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes they both deserve happiness. Funny, I thought he was happy with me.
Oh and the whole u are my soul mate crap.


Me BW 34
husband 34
Married 9 years, together 12 years
OW-my so called "friend"
2 boys (6 & 2)
D-day 10/17/2012
D-day2-2/24/2013 told me it was her
D-day3-6/16/2013 found out affair never ended
Working on R

Posts: 34 | Registered: Nov 2012
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Your marriage was damaged before I entered the picture."

"It's simple two people wanted it to happen."

"If your husband really loved you he would never have done this to you."

"You are a miserable and worthless person."

"I do not regret any of my actions."

"All you do is obsess about me all day long."

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 2:34 PM, September 13th (Friday)]


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
k94ever
♀ Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I never made any promises (meaning wedding vows) to your wife."

"If you love something/one, set it free. If it comes back it's yours."

"God grant me the serenity to accept things."

All from FWS's last FB who "loved" him.

k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6451 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 3:11 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I don't want to be a homewrecker"

"We can still be friends, we'll just stop the other stuff"


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6298 | Registered: Jan 2011
heartbroken2012
♀ Member
Member # 38089
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The slut OW texted my husband once (while he was still in fog/hiding things) -

"its ridiculous that we cant talk to each other, you know your wife is going to be checking the phone logs"

i would also like to punch the bitch in the face...course she would be just as ugly.



BS(Me) - 32
WS(HUbbie) - 40
OW - 44 (a ugly, old, white trash horse faced Coworker)
Affair was 2 months long
3 kids - 5yr old, and twins 8 months
Dday - 12/25/12 (lots of signs before I should have seen)

Posts: 544 | Registered: Jan 2013
DecimatedHeart
♀ Member
Member # 37657
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I could go on for DAYS about this one. But my favorite was probably "It is what it is but it'll become what you make it." She used that one a lot when she was trying to talk him into leaving me and abandoning his family. The 'it is what it is' part really chaffed my ass, because it implied they had absolutely no responsibility in making it that way in the first place.


Me, BS 41
Him WH 42 - LTA, EA/PA
Together 24 years
DD13 - the love of my life
DDay#1 11/10/2012
DDay#4 4/5/2013 (NC broken AGAIN)
A supposedly over 6/14/2013

All my posts are edited - I hate typos. :)


Posts: 129 | Registered: Nov 2012
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 5:07 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I DON'T ASK FOR NOTIN FROM NO ONE AND NEVER HAVE. I HAVE GIVEN,GIVEN ,GIVEN AND NEVER ASKED YOU FOR A F'N THING OTHER THEN TO BE A FRIEND. A SHOULDER TO CRY ON (RARELY) IF THAT'S ASKING TOO MUCH THEN YOU CAN GO STRAIGHT TO HELL AND OBVIOUSLY AREN'T PERSON I WANT IN MY LIFE. SO, TO SAY IT AIN'T BEEN NICE KNOWING YOU IS PUTTING IT MIDLEY!

This is a direct quote from OW's FB page. Caps and spelling all its! The catch phrase in this is: I HAVE GIVEN,GIVEN ,GIVEN

Yes, the AP's are always so magnanimous.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9403 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Spelljean
♀ Member
Member # 35624
Default  Posted: 5:47 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Listen to your inner voice, it will not lead you astray"

"I wouldn't let someone put out my fire"

"Its a case of unmet needs."

"Spelljean doesn't appreciate your core being."


WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

Posts: 903 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California
Topic Posts: 106
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