Headed to the Big D after finding out about LTA. Totally blind sided, thought we were happy and that all was good. He told me he was in love with her. All kinds of ugliness happened after that and life is crap right now.I am sad, mad, scared, anxious, all those things. That was about 40 days ago.
My STBX used to be against Divorce, used to have pretty strong opinion about this. NOW, he says " I never said that."
He is so selfish. He simply does not see the devastation and damage. He thinks the kids are "so wonderful, intelligent and adaptable" that all will be fine. I must be exaggerating how upsetting this is/will be for them. As long as HE Is happy, we will all adjust...and he knows "this is the best thing for you too, you weren't happy, you just didn't know it..." Thanks for figuring it out for me ahole.
Now, that he is out of the house He is angry with me because he believes I am standing in the way of his "parenting" of the kids. He misses them, but somehow this is MY FAULT not consequences of HIS ACTIONS.
He has been trying to rush me into having the big "talk" with them "as a united front" so he can bring them to his new place, and introduce them to his new life. He has been seeing them quite a bit, but short visits. He is tired of being the dinner guy, arcade guy, disney dad- and he is upset that he can't help with homework, and tuck them in at night....oh, should have thought of that while you were f"ing another woman and lying and betraying me for 16 months, and ultimately, the kids too.
Oh, sad, yet also so F'ing Funny. Funny that he didn't do all that much "parenting" when he was here. He was in his office "working" alot, which really meant IMing with his skank whore girlfriend, pretending he had "work dinners" or going on "business trips." MR. lazy ass laying on the couch watching tv. I did most everything. He didn't take them or pick them up from school, help with homework, organize or plan family activities. He was just along for the ride most of the time, like another child. He took very little initiative, but of course, they love him and he is still daddy.
My 2nd grade daughter today asked me why boys think they are stronger. I said I don't know, and she said, I think women are stronger because they work so much harder. She said "moms do everything for their kids and family" and "dads lay around and watch TV." Of course, if she said this to him, he would start blaming me and say that I planted that thought in her head. NOT AT ALL. They know, just like I know, that he did very little...
YET- NOW- he believes that he did all these things. He has a completely different view of the past- one where we were unhappily married FOR YEARS, I was a "dictator" and only "settled" for him and he did "50% of the parenting." In Divorce therapy, he is trying to create this other version of history, and even of the current situation, and it is like talking to an insane 4 year old. It is like he is on drugs or in a cult. He makes no sense, but I can tell he actually believes what he is saying??? This is driving me crazy.
Are they all the same?? Is it the only way they can justify what they did and find a way to sleep at night?
REALLY??