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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: snap crackle pop
mixedintherut
♀ Member
Member # 40330
Default  Posted: 6:42 PM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today has been horrible. I feel like I could snap, at any given moment.

I checked his call log, as I always do, saw her number, and the amount of time that they are still talking and a dose of reality hit. He has no intentions of ending this anytime soon. She's still "just a friend" and he has cut me out of his life as best as he can. And seems to be perfectly content.

I don't think I have it in me to spend the rest of my life checking phone records, and being paranoid at any given moment that a 3rd Dday would arrive.

I don't want my daughter growing up thinking that it's okay for her spouse to cheat on her, and just continue to stay in the relationship. My mom's current bf has cheated on her at least 4 times that I know of, and she stays for financial stability. I am obviously in my own situation. Two days ago, my sister calls me crying, her bf of 2.5 years has started texting someone, he has cheated 3 times that I know of. Why do we allow it to be okay? I don't want that for my daughter!

I am calling lawyers tomorrow. I know that ultimately he is not willing to change at this point, and I don't have it in me to wait 2.5 years again. I can't sit back and watch him live his life working monday and tuesday, he comes home plays house for 5 hours, goes back to work and then on the weekends, he's home and acts as though nothing is wrong.

I have to be smart about all of this, and I don't know quite what that entails yet. I started IC last week, will call lawyers tomorrow, and try to start saving money.

A real man, owns his shit and does anything he can within his being to keep his family. He is throwing us away as if we were yesterdays trash! Well it's time for me to take out the trash, it stinks, and it's rotten, and it's past due!

Now, I have 5 hours left to make it through day without snapping. Here's hoping I can make it!


DD 1: PA 12/4/09 He spent 2.5 years with OW1
R: 8/31/2012
DD 2: EA 8/16/13
BS: 26
WH: 25
1 young daughter.
Terribly disgusted. He refuses to give up his "friend". Headed towards D.

Posts: 136 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: kentucky
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending good thoughts to you mixed...

I know you know filing is not the same as finalizing - it's just one small step.
I wanted to say that so it wouldn't be so "big", or scary to you.
There's still time for you...

I hope you begin to feel a greater peace, and a certainty about your path.
D is often the best thing for us, compared to the rest of the choices we have...
hugs


Posts: 6572 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
unfound
♀ Member
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to be smart about all of this, and I don't know quite what that entails yet. I started IC last week, will call lawyers tomorrow, and try to start saving money

This is a great start. One day at a time. Hell, one hour at a time!

Read about the 180 in the healing library. It might help get through this without snapping. You can always come here to vent it out too .


Find yourself a mantra that you can say to yourself like "taking the trash out" when you feel like you're going crackle or pop.


ka-mai
*******************
From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14844 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
Hope2B
♀ Member
Member # 40474
Default  Posted: 12:54 AM, September 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry to read about what you're going through! I don't know why men so often think with their small brain.


Me: early 60s
Him: 65 yrs old, LTA w/a pro$titute
Married since 1980, no children
DDay: Feb. 25, 2013
Trickle Truth Days: Sept 10, 11, 13, 15 (2013)
His affair--says it was only 8 times 1x/mo, then found out it was 7 YEARS 2-3x/mo or maybe ever 4x/mo

Posts: 358 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: out west/west coast U.S.A.
Topic Posts: 4

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