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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: She pulled the temp restraining order trick
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 11:51 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did she actually file a TRO against you or just *threaten* to?

eta: If she did file it, then you should have an injunction hearing coming up in the next 10 days or so? re-read Stronger's post. This same thing happened to him....

[This message edited by gonnabe2016 at 11:53 PM, September 13th (Friday)]

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

Posts: 8075 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
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Member # 39273
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She called me on the Sunday before and told me she had an appointment with the Family Violence dept at the Sherrifs dept. I panicked and left. I told the kids goodbye and moved some of my stuff. I have since spoken with my lawyer and they told me I should not have left and that we could have easily beaten this. I am not good at this. If you are thinking of leaving your kids/home DO NOT make a decision w/out talking to legal counsel. My mountain just got a little higher.

Posts: 23 | Registered: May 2013 | From: USA
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Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 5:52 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What do they advise about moving back in?

You really DON'T want it to appear you walked away from the kids. Knowing she might attempt a false DV charge might give you a heads up.

Might not be advisable. Talk to your lawyer.

BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2984 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
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Member # 34477
Default  Posted: 8:25 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been wondering how you are doing? Was a TRO ever made? What is the living situation now? Please tell me you lawyer has got your back

Me: BW (35)
Him: ExWH (31) EA/PA with MOW coworker
Married 9 years, 2 small kids
dday 3/12/2011 divorced fall 2012

My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.

Posts: 651 | Registered: Jan 2012
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Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 6:25 AM, October 1st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Angel back, I am sorry for your situation , my stbxww did exactly the same after I discovered her affair. She went to family court while I was at work and told them a story and cops were at my door when I got home . I had to get a duffle bag of my shit and leave and I am not allowed back ! Even the cop was in shock , no violence , no history of violence? It is the biggest injustice ever . But it happened . You have to treat her like an enemy now. She is not your wife she is a stranger. I know how hard it is and I know the pain all too well! Stay strong and I wish you all the best.

"what does not kill you , makes you stronger"

Posts: 678 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
♂ Member
Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 6:26 AM, October 1st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh and if she didn't call for a TRO yet , do not leave your home!!! Please

"what does not kill you , makes you stronger"

Posts: 678 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
♂ New Member
Member # 39273
Default  Posted: 9:02 AM, October 1st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, she never followed thru but I did leave fearing I would not see the kids until it was all resolved and that could have been drug out for who knows how long. My lawyers told me she did it to establish custody and to show she was capable of being a good parent.

My 16 and 15 year olds have been begging me to come get them to stay with me. At this point I am looking for a suitable place for all of us and then we are going to have the kids fill out affidavits electing to be with me and then I am going to move them in with me before the trial. My lawyers will make the case that she lied and blackmailed me into leaving and that it was not abandonment. The two older kids want nothing to do with her and regularly call me with incidents of her being drunk and screaming and yelling at them. I know I screwed up by leaving but my lawyers tell me we can turn this around on her, and in non legal terms, she has driven a deeper wedge between her and the two oldest as they are aware of this stupid trick she pulled.

If you are in my situation, don't fall for it. It has made the situation a little more complex but I have great faith the truth eventually comes out and whether thru the court or by God's help, the right thing will happen for me and my kids.
Thanks to all for the support, this site is better than my lawyers and therapist combined!

Posts: 23 | Registered: May 2013 | From: USA
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Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 9:18 AM, October 1st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I made the same mistake before I spoke to a lawyer, my stbxww tried desperatly to get me out and I was in a bad place emotionally. Real bad! She left love letters , hotel bathrobes , sex toys , she stood out till all hours and came home drunk often all before divorcing me , I was fucking tortured so after I left my lawyer said I should have never. But everyone's situation is different and it sounds like you are in some sort of control and focused. I wish you well on this miserable journey.

"what does not kill you , makes you stronger"

Posts: 678 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
Topic Posts: 28
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