He was sitting talking to a single girl having a meaningful conversation
All of a sudden (in his words) the girl charged him and kissed him (full on tongue kiss).
Later that night I found a photo of the girl in his email.... laying on top of our boat in a sexy pose, in her bikini..... My husband also stated, "I'm not going to lie, she was hot."
He is lying. There is a lot more to this story.
You need to start investigating.
sending you strength
When I talk to my husband he says my reaction does not fit the event. My husband feels completely better but I feel terrible. It has been one week and my husband thinks the topic should be dropped by now. I feel like he is resenting me now for having all of these emotions.
So...He feels better, it's all good now?
He doesn't get to tell you, how you should feel! particularly after one week!
Here's what he gets to do:
Stop lying and Man-Up!
Tell you ow's NAME. (Trust me he knows it.), and anyone who knows her, and can possibly collaborate his, "she attacked me" story.
Get himself into IC ASAP.to work on his obvious self-entitlement issues!
Then he gets to, sell the damn boat!
[This message edited by Safeguard at 9:44 PM, September 9th (Monday)]
Inconceivable, this from a guy perspective also---read, and re-read ((Lucky)) and ((Safeguard)). Some hard truths there, but truths, IMHO. Your Husband sounds like someone who was afraid of being outed, so he came up with some cock and bull story about how innocent it all was. Don't buy it!
I completely believe this story was self-serving, and not at all shared with you out of a sense of guilt or loyalty.
I think it was pure CYA before someone else got to you. And of course, it was painted to make him look totally innocent. So in his mind, he's now covered the 'boat buddy' issue and managed to make himself look like the innocent, devoted husband in the process.
I think you haven't NEARLY heard the whole story. But I'll bet he's bragged to his buddies about what's going on - and they're keeping tight-lipped about it.
Time to start investigating.
I'll bet he's bragged to his buddies about what's going on - and they're keeping tight-lipped about it.
I am so sorry you are here.
I think 'life as usual' needs to happen.... so you can get around to some really good stealth mode clue finding detective work.
There are tons of ways you can check without him knowing. If you find he was truthful, great. If you find MORE ... then keep playing along with 'life as usual' so you can amass the information you need. If he is lying to you he will continue to lie to you.
His defensiveness about you not 'being over this' in a week worries me. What exactly is he defensive about? If he was remorseful he would understand your point of view and want to help you and prove you can trust him. He would be willing to change behavior (like not go places with his single (?) buddies without you!)
Check his fb friends and follow the chain of friends. (Many people do not have private fb pages.) He may have a friend who has a girlfriend who is friends with this girl. They may have 'party pictures' posted from the lake. FB or other social sites have told on many affairs.
Just keep your cool. Act like all is well. This 'kiss' bothers you a bit but you are getting over it fast. Try to act as normal as possible so he feels comfortable. Then carefully watch (with recorders or whatever!)
Good luck to you. I hope he really is telling you the truth.
Failure to attempt is failure.
So sorry but there's more to this. You'll need to start investigating WITHOUT his knowledge and don't let him manipulate you into thinking this is now your fault or make you feel guilty about not trusting him blah blah. He CROSSED the line. Not you.
Hugs your way.
True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.
Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.