Update November 2013: It only took seven years but I finally turned a corner. :)
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
He's Just Not That Into You
Or yeah it could be the actual movie triggering me. My trigger movie WAS(YEAH !!! Finally, not an IS anymore) Pearl Harbor with Ben Affleck & Josh Hartnet. Read my bio you can pick the similarities.
I also have movies that trigger good memories that make a weepy puddle of a mess. One I have not reclaimed yet is StepMom with Julia Roberts & Susan Sarandon. The movie itself was a tear jerker, but it brought up all the fear I had when my mom had breast cancer, stage 4 I think. She is ok now, it has been 22 since she was sick. At the time we went to see the movie in Jan. 1999 my mom had been in remission for about 8-10 yrs ...
And the movie was unexpected, I mean I knew the gist of the story, but it still caught me WAY off guard. I was sobbing/hiccuping in the theater through the last of the movie. Xh held me(we had barely started dating) He smoothed my hair, rubbed my back, kissed my forehead, just held me and let me cry.
Later standing in his drive way we had our first real kiss, God I still remember every feeling about that night, what we wore, how he held me, what he said, how much magic he made with his lips.
I have not watched that movie yet. Have not reclaimed that one, like I have Pearl Harbor. Someday, maybe I'll look it up on line today.
Anyway, after my rambling and t/j'ing(again, sorry MODS) point is for me a positive movie can trigger feelings/memories as bad or worse than a negative one.
Another one that I now dislike: The Bridges of Madison County. Its weird but when I first saw this movie,I hated the whole affair aspect, but then later on in life, I thought I could see how she could feel so torn. But now, having been cheated on and lied to, I really dislike the movie at the moment. Of course, it is going to be on Broadway now too!
George Clooney's BS character is a role model for me. He focuses on his kids and family, trying to heal from the betrayal.
The Way, Way Back was a good film, too, but when the scene came with the mother's boyfriend kissing another woman, my heart stopped and my blood ran cold. My FWH let out a little groan. We both sat there as if paralyzed, just staring ahead.
D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA
The Women? I think that's the name of it, with Meg Ryan as the BS? Anyway it was during the A that WS had the grand idea to rent this one, we don't rent movies, ever, going to Blockbuster was a ruse to call OW, anyway, you never see the WS in the movie but you see the OW and she is made out to be hot shit in it.
BS ends up divorcing WS in the end so I guess you could say there was a happy ending.
I really trigger hard if there is infidelity in a movie or on TV.
It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.
There are a ton of others that don't necessarily portray affairs in a good light, but still triggery: "Match Point", "Closer", "Fatal Attraction", "My Best Friend's Wedding", "What's Eating Gilbert Grape", "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button", "The Horse Whisperer", "Hook", "Heartburn"...
I always wanna say "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" even though it's not about affairs... Probably because Angelina Jolie said that she couldn't wait to get into the bed (scene) with Brad Pitt and that she'd tell her kids one day that this was the movie where mommy and daddy fell in love... While daddy was still married to Jennifer Aniston, that is. It's pretty much like infidelity immortalized for me.
It's a hockey movie, but there is a subplot involving the main character inadvertently getting involved with a girl with a boyfriend. TCD and I figured a foul-mouthed movie about hockey would be safe... It's a shame, because without that subplot, TCD would have really enjoyed it. Though the main character lets the BBF beat the shit out of him because he feels so awful for what he'd done, so there's that...
FWW and I have found ourself changing the channel or stopping a movie because its all about an affair. Good or bad we don't wanna see it.
If you watch the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the WS is portrayed as an entitled, selfish, high-maintenance bitch and as the movie goes along you wonder: wtf did this dude ever see in her. It is probably difficult to watch post dday given some of the more graphic scenes, but in the end the betrayed boyfriend moves on in spite of all the shit thrown in his way, tripping over his own stupid mistakes and even gets the greatest scene in a romance film ever: he yells at his cheating ex that his penis hates her so much it wants to hide, as he rushes off after a failed attempt by her to give him a beej.
Nothing ultimately horrible happens to the WS but it doesn't matter because it wasn't her story. It was about the BS moving on with his life and enjoying it.
There are good movies out there that show infidelity and relationships in an appreciable light like that. It's just that the other kind of films are made because they sell. It's not an agenda, it's a product that people buy. Like reading gossip columns or TMZ.
(I LOVE Pearl Harbor....I'm a sucker for movies with great soundtracks and *spot on* casting.)
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.