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Newest Member: lynnde (44729)

New Beginnings     Print Topic    
User Topic: SI, I am confused and need help, please!!!
TrulyReconciled
♂ Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Doesn't Mercedes make the Smart Car?

Shhhhhhh!!!!


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 21040 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WB, if he had an old beat up truck, I would be 100% fine! It's just that in this toy he makes me feel less than. Who cares if his big truck is old? But I CARE if his new car is a toy. YUK!

I would feel less than, I mean WTF if I have to drive my CRV b/c he drives a toy.

I think he is a really, really nice guy I just think that him being OK w/ driving a toy as a 56 year old man is almost embarrassing at best!


Posts: 2483 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
lieshurt
♀ Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's just that in this toy he makes me feel less than.

He can't make you feel "less than" EW. This is a self imposed choice that you are making.


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13724 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
meaniemouse
♀ Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 2:55 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think smart cars are adorable and no doubt they are great for the environment. I just wouldn't drive one or ride in one simply because of the safety issues. Same reason I wouldn't ride a motorcycle or scooter. I'm just a big fat chicken who is afraid of getting hurt.


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2105 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
InnerLight
♀ Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hate spending money on gas so I would think its pretty cool to date a man w a smart car. Gas mileage is the first thing I think of w cars! I don't see it as showing less masculinity. In fact he may be more secure in his manliness if he drives a smart car.

I think you are mismatched. If you can't respect him and think a tiny car means he is less a man you should let him go.


BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. dating again, living in the sticks with a cat. It's taking a long time to create new dreams and a new life but it is slowly coming together.

Posts: 5798 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 3:07 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh! I think I made a mistake jumping into the dating pool.
It's just sometimes I feel lonely...

Posts: 2483 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
9.10.11
♂ Member
Member # 36336
Default  Posted: 3:19 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

EW, he just doesn't "turn your crank". Don't worry!!! Someone will show up sooner than ya think. Hang in there.


Posts: 120 | Registered: Aug 2012
kwash
Member
Member # 13957
Default  Posted: 3:21 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Smart Cars aren't toys they are real cars. Visit any European city (or increasingly, large metropolitan cities in North America) and you will see them driven by all ages and walks of life.

I don't get your issue, but I don't think I could fall for a guy driving a Hummer (irnonically because I think they scream overconsumption), so to each his/her own I guess!

Sorry you get lonely (((EW))).


Posts: 2190 | Registered: Mar 2007
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Soo...guys, how do I let him know he is not for me?

He already offered to take down his profile on the dating site we both were on. He is all into me.

I researched a bit further and his lifestyle is definately not compatible with mine. He sounded good on paper but now that I had a chance to check him out, he is a nice guy but not something I am remotely interested in.
HELP!

[This message edited by Exit Wounds at 3:41 PM, September 4th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 2483 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
Newlease
♀ Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just text him and tell him that you don't think you're a match and wish him well.

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7676 | Registered: Aug 2005
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NL,

I just emailed him. He doesn't have a phone so I sent him an email. Gosh I feel bad, even though it was just one date!

This shit is not for me!


Posts: 2483 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
Must Survive
♀ Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 4:14 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

EW,

I would be concerned that the smart car is not safe. You would lose in any accident, except maybe a bike. I would offer to take my car.

The fact that he doesn't have a phone, that would be the deal breaker for me.

Next!


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 717 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MS, I already wrote him an email since he doesn't have a phone.

I think I am going to step back and not date. This is just not working for me...


Posts: 2483 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 4:52 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((EW)))

Don't be so hard on yourself because he wasn't for you!! It's OK.


Posts: 11605 | Registered: Mar 2008
Bobbi_sue
♀ Member
Member # 10347
Default  Posted: 5:21 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think Smart cars are ugly and not as practical as a slightly larger car that gets just as good or better mileage, but if I were single, a guy driving a Smart car would not be a deal breaker and I would think he was intelligent and did not like wasting hard earned money. My H drives a Chevy Aveo that gets 35 mpg, but the man I met and married would not likely have owned such a car. He has come my way when it comes to a lot of things related to spending. The guys at his job pick on him about his rollerskate, but hey he has manly Harley-Davidson decals on the windows so that helps!

Now as for me, the 13 year age difference would be a deal breaker, and I also believe that would prevent any "butterflies" from ever happening with the guy. But different things are attractions or turnoffs to different people. The car would not be a problem for me, but when I was single after divorcing my first H, made a decision I would not date anybody more than five years older or younger than me.


Posts: 5730 | Registered: Apr 2006
Catwoman
♀ Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 5:28 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Exit, frankly, if I were the man and knew how you felt, I would feel you were shallow and vain and I would probably say next.

He runs his life as he sees fit, and while it isn't what you would do, it isn't along the same lines as something like abuse. It is just a choice. If you don't like his choice, YOU have choices (one of which, if you value his friendship, is NOT to criticize his choice).

When I met GDM, he had been separated for nearly 2 years, divorced for nearly 1.5 years and didn't have any furniture. Seriously . . . a kitchen table, a dining room set, a study with a desk and some Queen Anne chairs and tables/lamps, some folding chairs and some secondhand wicker. No bed. An empty living room. Two totally empty bedrooms.

Yes, I could have walked. I felt it was odd. But as I got to know him, I found out more about what made him tick, and it definitely wasn't furniture (and BTW, he could afford just about anything he wanted--it wasn't a money thing). The more I got to know him, the less it mattered. And funny enough, the more I "mattered" to him, the more he wanted to nest his house. It's lovely now.

Men (and women) are a package--some stuff you like, some stuff you love and some stuff you can take or leave. If the Smartcar is a dealbreaker, do the kind thing and say goodbye. Personally, I save the dealbreaker stuff for things along the line of betrayal, deceit, drugs, abuse . . . not Smartcars.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29591 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
Hope4TheFuture
♀ Member
Member # 25382
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can beat you all

I once dated a man who drove a Volkswagen Cabriolet. He liked it because he lived in a very tiny house in a run-down city. The Cabriolet would *just* fit into the garage (the garage was that tiny). That was important, because the streets were very narrow, parking was at a premium, and once it snowed and the city plowed...well...you can imagine.

One day, the Cabriolet finally died. So he replaced it with a Smart car.

He's a looker, too. Looks like Liam Neeson.

And he's 6'5" and 250 pounds. You haven't lived until you've seen that sight.

Hope4


Posts: 607 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: in the void
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TR, that picture you posted is larger than that car is IRL!!!!

I wouldn't mind the Smart Car, depending on where you lived. Up here in the great white north, it would be a death trap. In a large city with warmer weather, it's a good choice. I would be really scared in it if everything else on the road was huge. I don't think the Smart Car itself would be a turnoff. Sounds like you just have way different life styles, so you did the right thing.

[This message edited by kernel at 8:48 PM, September 4th (Wednesday)]


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% - and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5058 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh EW I'm sorry - and I don't think I could do it either unless there was some crazy chemistry going on - lol. It's not that I look down on it, it's just not for me. I wouldn't feel safe at all!

It is a little unusual in your area. I'm a little north of you in Texas and they are a little more common here but it still wouldn't work for me. (And the single dad I'm seeing drives a Rav so nothing like a big truck lol)

You did the right thing - so time to move on - ((Hugs))


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4471 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Got2GO
♀ Member
Member # 26576
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's just something to do until something better comes around. Don't count him out just yet. But know that this won't be long term. Like you said, he doesn't make much money so don't put to much into this.


BS (me) 47
WS (him) 70
Together 7 1/2 years
married 6 years
no children together
Happily divorced 1/29/13!

Posts: 109 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: got2go
Topic Posts: 54
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