Congrats with preschool!
Mixed emotions are normal. Again, don't have to bottle that up. You can talk to your FWS about it but at the same time not make it seem like you're harping on the past. My husband and I have key words and whenever I need some reassurance because I'm having mixed emotions or triggers, he hugs me and tells me what I need to hear. There are times when he even recites what he's done so that I focus on the facts, the actions and not the random emotions I'm feeling. Somehow we've managed to do it without FWS feeling like I would never trust him or would never believe what I see with my own eyes.
Five year R here so I do know that in true R it does get better.
Love is a choice.
True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.
Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.