Just a little positive note tonight:
So he's been home for over 6 months now. We have had several instances of TT but overall he's been great. He's super supportive of my feelings and needs. He's all in and so am I. The kids are happier too. He really has turned back into the guy I married.
So last year we had a beach trip and a Disney World trip booked and paid for when DDay happened. Obviously, we didn't go on either trip and I got the money back. My kids showed me the kind of men I'm raising when I had to cancel. "Mom, it's ok. We've been to the beach before and we don't need to go to DW. We need to pay the mortgage more than we need to go on vacation." They were 9 and 12 at the time. So, no family vacation last year for anyone.
Since the 1st antiversary on 4/9, I've been having moments of "Last year on this day, we were separated and..." Somewhere in the back of my head, I keep waiting to get to the spot on this year's calendar where we were together again. THEN, I won't have anything negative to focus on on those special days that were f'd up last year.
Friday we picked the boys up from school and headed out on our first family vacation since Thanksgiving 2011. We live in Dallas so we went down to San Antonio for a few days and then back up to Austin yesterday. We got home tonight. We did fun things like Sea World, a water park and took a boat tour of the Riverwalk. We also visited the Alamo and the State Capital. We all had a great time together!
It hit me yesterday morning while we were still lying in bed. I never had to go through what most of us do - one parent vacationing with the kids while the other is home miserable. I didn't have to take them by myself or sit here and watch them leave with him. My kids did not have to experience that either. Honestly, I think he would have been miserable doing it too.
I'm so thankful that he finally saw the light and wanted to come home. And I'm thankful that I wasn't so bitter that I could not open my heart to him again. My kids get to have a two-parent household again - something neither one of us had. And we had a blast together on our Family Vacation!