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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Did I stop it in time?
hlmhlmn
♀ New Member
Member # 40513
Stop  Posted: 7:38 PM, August 31st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

[This message edited by hlmhlmn at 10:50 PM, August 31st (Saturday)]


Posts: 5 | Registered: Aug 2013
floridaredman
♂ Member
Member # 15122
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, August 31st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you want an honest marriage?


The simplest thing can be the hardest thing to do....FRM

Posts: 2537 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Florida
hlmhlmn
♀ New Member
Member # 40513
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, August 31st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

[This message edited by hlmhlmn at 10:51 PM, August 31st (Saturday)]


Posts: 5 | Registered: Aug 2013
floridaredman
♂ Member
Member # 15122
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, August 31st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

But your trust issues do not entitle you to betray his trust. Furthermore it seems unfair for you to be aware of his transgressions while you are guilty of the same.
Just because you stopped it does not take away from the fact that you still betrayed him. He deserves to know

[This message edited by floridaredman at 9:19 PM, August 31st (Saturday)]


The simplest thing can be the hardest thing to do....FRM

Posts: 2537 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Florida
hlmhlmn
♀ New Member
Member # 40513
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, August 31st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

[This message edited by hlmhlmn at 10:51 PM, August 31st (Saturday)]


Posts: 5 | Registered: Aug 2013
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Red  Posted: 7:08 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hlmhlmn,

You have a PM.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 38059 | Registered: Sep 2007
hlmhlmn
♀ New Member
Member # 40513
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My appologies to Floridaredman. I paniked. I told bh about my actions. Thank you for your advice.

Posts: 5 | Registered: Aug 2013
floridaredman
♂ Member
Member # 15122
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Apology? None needed. Good for you for telling your bh. I wish you both much success.
How did he take it?


The simplest thing can be the hardest thing to do....FRM

Posts: 2537 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Florida
hlmhlmn
♀ New Member
Member # 40513
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He felt it was wrong what I did but also felt I didn't have an affair because I wasn't physical with anyone. He then blamed himself saying that if he made me happy I wouldn't have done that. I am perfect, that he failed once (his previous marriage where she had multiple affairs) and he won't again.

This lead to more talk about how he does this self blame in our relationship and then the issue never gets resolved. Also how i was my responsible for my own actions.

In some ways this is more difficult because he is not angry with me. I feel like I got off on a technicality but then I catch a look in his eye that shows me that I what I did hurt him.

He basically wants to draw a line in our relationship and just move on forgetting it happened at all.

I hope us opening up and communicating more helps us both heal.


Posts: 5 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 9

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