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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I'll never understand
mof2
♀ Member
Member # 40287
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, August 31st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just read an email that he sent me awhile back that I will post below and it brought tears to my eyes. I am still detached from him, but I just don't think I will ever be able to understand why he did this. I don't want him back, but I do hope that one day he regrets his decision.

I would not trade anything at all ever for the last 8 years with you/y'all. We both helped each other get thru a lot of struggles, although you helped me a lot more. And at the same time have had a for the most part a great relationship, friendship and marriage. There are just things now that I don't even know why I do them or why I feel the way I feel. I just know its not fair to keep bringing you/y'all down with my problems. I don't know what's missing but its something in my heart. Maybe God...I don't know. Maybe being alone and getting therapy or something will help me grow up and figure out what's important in life. I suck to leave y'all like this and I hate myself even more for doing it. Maybe I can figure out how to not be such a selfish person as well. I am really glad you don't hate me...at least yet. I know this is my choice but it is hard and it is tough on everybody and I am really sad about it. I may end up regretting this one day, I realize that...I just know it is what needs to happen right now, at least in my screwed up head. I will always love you and y'all and nothing can ever change that. I may not end up ever loving myself....but just know I will or could never hate you.


BW - Me 43
WH - Cheating Swine 43
Dday - February 12, 2013....a week before I was to give birth to the child I miscarried and 12 days before our 5th anniversary.

Posts: 316 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: DFW
Sparkles
♀ Member
Member # 39901
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, August 31st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((MO2)))
I know you are hurting.
I don't have any words of wisdom, but hugs to you!

Posts: 138 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: NW
mof2
♀ Member
Member # 40287
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, August 31st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Sparkles! Hugs to you! Really just need to delete the emails. They do help me realize that it wasn't me and that he just up and left me for another woman.


BW - Me 43
WH - Cheating Swine 43
Dday - February 12, 2013....a week before I was to give birth to the child I miscarried and 12 days before our 5th anniversary.

Posts: 316 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: DFW
Saleschick
♀ Member
Member # 39772
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, August 31st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is so good to be on this board and realize I am not alone. I have a couple similar emails I have received this summer and one just last week. My Dad recommends to delete them as well but I have not been able to bring myself to do that just yet.

Posts: 72 | Registered: Jul 2013
trebleclef
♀ Member
Member # 33488
Default  Posted: 11:38 PM, August 31st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I too, have struggled with these types of letters/emails. we are now D'd and still I got one last week telling me how he missed me and "us".

they are just another sword in the back. Really? You miss "us"? You could never "replace the time and experiences we had together?"

Um - yes you could. And did.
Quit trying to make me feel sorry for you.


True remorse isn't followed by a "but".

Posts: 1809 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: Alberta
newlysingle
♀ Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 11:43 PM, August 31st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got one of these too. In my case, it just really pissed me off. The whole thing was him just going on and on how he really did love me when we married and we had such a great life together, blah, blah, blah. Then one day, he just fell out of love with me. He doesn't know why, but instead of telling me this he felt it gave him a green light to have an affair.

F%&k off, buddy. The whole thing was just to make himself feel better. It's like, well I told her I was sorry, so I no longer have any responsibility towards this disaster I've created. Screw him. I keep it just so I can look back and remember how much I hate him when I have those weak moments.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 918 | Registered: Mar 2013
Saleschick
♀ Member
Member # 39772
Default  Posted: 12:05 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yesterday, his mom told him she loved me and I would always be a part of the family and she would see/talk to me when ever she felt like it. He told her he loved me too. Well, why can you not get rid of your married mistress who is not willing to leave her husband yet we are officially done as a couple on Tuesday, Sept 3rd. I have had several people ask if he is bi polar (he has a brother who is) but reading all the forums, I do not think he is. He is just like so many of the other cheaters who cannot face reality and I guess wants to use me as a back up plan when things do not work out with her.

Posts: 72 | Registered: Jul 2013
mof2
♀ Member
Member # 40287
Default  Posted: 7:45 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And all of the responses from all of you is just more proof that they are bat shit crazy!!! How do people send these kind of emails and not realize that they are jacked up in the head and that they are spiraling downward? And how do these women/men they are having an affair with don't think the same thing will be done to them???


BW - Me 43
WH - Cheating Swine 43
Dday - February 12, 2013....a week before I was to give birth to the child I miscarried and 12 days before our 5th anniversary.

Posts: 316 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: DFW
Blackhair
♀ Member
Member # 39451
Default  Posted: 8:00 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I got a very similar situation, he told his friend that all he is into is sex or physical attraction, the girl so young, and petite, he knows he will regret it or it might not last long.

That is why he never mean to me, always want to settle in civil.

I think it is more like any addiction, they know they have a better future with the wife, but they just can not help doing it, it is just so exciting, fun, etc.

They do think with the " head" down there.


M: 10 years
DD:5 DS Twin: 2 yrs old
DDay: Earlier 2013, WS flew/met many times with a Philippine girl found online (20 yrs younger)
SA finalized 6 months after DD. divorcing...
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 177 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
mof2
♀ Member
Member # 40287
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree. It's boredom. They want "new" and "exciting". The problem with that is that wears off as well and you can build meaningful, loving relationships on "new" and "exciting". My H was VERY impulsive. He loved spending money. He always needed new things and they had to be the BEST. Right now he is living in a 700 square ft condo that is $1,700 + a month because he wants only the best for himself. In my case, the woman is actually older than me and not that attractive. She is just very weak and she was his prey. He jumped for a woman who could make him feel stronger and better about himself.


BW - Me 43
WH - Cheating Swine 43
Dday - February 12, 2013....a week before I was to give birth to the child I miscarried and 12 days before our 5th anniversary.

Posts: 316 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: DFW
Eyeofthetiger
♀ Member
Member # 40359
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I only wish to get emails from my H. But I guess then I would wonder if he would come back.

I am struggling with this idea of divorce.

Delete the email. But you will still always have it locked in memory.


S

Posts: 129 | Registered: Aug 2013
mof2
♀ Member
Member # 40287
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I only wish to get emails from my H.

Eyeofthetiger, when was your Dday? You say you wish you got emails from your H, but it is actually in your best interest that you don't. If he has run, the best and hardest thing for you to do is detach from him. The email from my H was from awhile back. I saw him and we talked briefly at the beginning of August and had two emails since....and those were mainly business. Of course, I had to jab him just a tad .


BW - Me 43
WH - Cheating Swine 43
Dday - February 12, 2013....a week before I was to give birth to the child I miscarried and 12 days before our 5th anniversary.

Posts: 316 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: DFW
Topic Posts: 12

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