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User Topic: Will they (WS) ever feel the pain?
FoolontheHill
♂ Member
Member # 40225
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some may know my story but in a nutshell here it is. DD1 was 3 years ago PA for 3 months. DD2 about 2 months ago revealing an EA Taft lasted minimum of 1 1/2 years.

WW is moving out Sunday. She maintains EA is just friend (he is 70 she is 42 yes you read that correctly). I just said that if the EA was so harmless I'm sure OM would not mind his wife knowing that he spoke to my wife on the phone on average 96 times per month for the last 16 months. She tells me I'm "a bitter man".

I want to tell OM 's wife just improve how F**king bitter I am. Should I? At this point I'm done but I want them both to feel some of the pain I do.

[This message edited by FoolontheHill at 9:51 PM, August 29th (Thursday)]


Me BH 46
WW 42

Dday 1: 10/20/2010 -- 3 month physical affair
Dday2: 7/7/2013 -- 3 year emotional affair but I think it was more.


Posts: 83 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Florida
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, the BW has a right to know what her fucktard, er, I mean WH is doing. Especially now that your WW is moving out. The BW needs to keep a wary eye on her WS.

Please tell. Some will say don't do it for revenge. I say it doesn't really matter what your motive is, it still doesn't change that the BS has a right to know what is going on in their marriage.

If you do tell the BW, please be gentle and kind. Have some evidence to show her if she wants it. Remember, she is a victim of her WS and deserves kindness.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9798 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
trebleclef
♀ Member
Member # 33488
Default  Posted: 9:51 PM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry for your pain FOOH.
Yes you should tell his wife, but not to prove anything or to get revenge. You should tell her because she deserves to know and to make choices for her own life. Would YOU want her to tell you, if she knew about her H and your W, and you did not?

Tell her gently, and offer proof. She will be hurting, and she is not at fault here.

Crazy how the W mind works. My WH too was "just friends" with his coworker whom he talked to hundreds of times a month at all hours and spent 14 hrs a day with and 1000s of dollars on. Interestingly though, he thought he should keep that relationship a secret - from his mistress!


True remorse isn't followed by a "but".

Posts: 1809 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: Alberta
FoolontheHill
♂ Member
Member # 40225
Default  Posted: 9:56 PM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not sure how i go about telling her. I don't have email etc info. I do have an address though but I can't be sure he won't intercept a snail mail letter.


Me BH 46
WW 42

Dday 1: 10/20/2010 -- 3 month physical affair
Dday2: 7/7/2013 -- 3 year emotional affair but I think it was more.


Posts: 83 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Florida
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 9:57 PM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You send it a very special way. You send it to the BW where she (and only she) has to show ID and sign for it. The Post Office will help you when you explain what you want.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9798 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
FoolontheHill
♂ Member
Member # 40225
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I also want to tell fucktard geriatric dooosh that she is all his and to die a slow festering painful death with the knowledge that I will relish pissing on his grave and soon because he is old

Tats probable not a good idea though

[This message edited by FoolontheHill at 10:18 PM, August 29th (Thursday)]


Me BH 46
WW 42

Dday 1: 10/20/2010 -- 3 month physical affair
Dday2: 7/7/2013 -- 3 year emotional affair but I think it was more.


Posts: 83 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Florida
HardenMyHeart
♂ Member
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not sure I would ever want anyone to feel the pain of betrayal, not even a WS.

I think you should tell OM's wife. Not out of spite, but because it is the right thing to do. Just make sure you have all your evidence, because your WW and OM will likely team up to say you're crazy.


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.


Posts: 5695 | Registered: Aug 2007
SoOver96
♀ Member
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You should tell her I was told by a friend my WS went to a party that had 3 people that I saw every single week. Your not jeopardizing a friendship she does have a right to know

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
Topic Posts: 8

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