I found this article many years ago, the first time I found SI, when my then-fiance went on "vacation with his brother" (and two girls), and I felt like I should leave him. This article really opened my eyes to what he was doing and I realized that some people are never going to change. Look up:::::
"Warning Signs You're Dating a Loser," by Dr. Joseph Carver.
...Seriously, from a med student who has spent years studying psychiatry and psychology...this is the best article available for those who are wondering if it's them...are they crazy? are they the reason he does these things? can he change? will he change? can he stop yelling? does he really love me? ...in my case, the answer was no, no to the ex-fiance, and no to my stbxh. Without reading this, I might not have had the strength to follow through on my decision to leave. I wouldn't have been able to be so consciously aware of the mind games to which I was being subjected. I loved this article so much back in 2007 that I pulled it up this go-round with stbxh. Worth a read!
Props to Dr. Carver--he wrote this many, many years ago and it's still the gold standard.