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Newest Member: wrongtrn (44612)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Oh Xwh, what *are* you up to?
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, we saw the IC today. She said that XWH had been in touch with her and wanted to see how things were going. Wow. It took him two months, but okay, fine. The IC got the impression that he just wanted to do a phone consultation, but she does not do those, so he's going in to see her. Since DS #1 is very angry with his dad these days and feels like he can't talk to his dad, I am hopeful that this will help, though that hinges on my XWH not becoming defensive over how he blew up his family. Yeah, not so sure about that.

And then... DD has kindergarten orientation tomorrow. I attended both of my sons' orientations. XWH never did and never expressed any interest. He also has NO clue that he needs to bring all the school supplies and filled-out forms at that time, which I have and will bring. However, Mr. Photo Opportunity (or Mr. PO, since he does make me POed at times) says to me, "How about if I drop the boys with you and take DD to the orientation alone since you've already met the teacher?"

HA HA HA. Right. Like I'd not only miss my youngest child's orientation but that I'd put together all of the supplies and paperwork for you and then just turn it over so that you can look like Dad of the Year. He never once indicated in any way that he'd like to help buy supplies or fill out anything. I would have gladly let him help. I informed him that, no, I'd meet him there at the appointed time. I have no problem with him coming, but I'm not staying home because he wants to do... what? Bring the Owife since her daughter has orientation as well? So bring her. They don't have the same teacher, so we don't need to cross paths.

But I can't help but wonder... is this just about doing what his parents think is right, and/or doing damage control to his image, which I think are his usual motivations-- talking to the IC, taking faux responsibility for one of our children's activities-- or is this part of some larger game plan? What are you up to, XWH? Why the big interest right now?

Sigh. 13 more years of playing this game.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3571 | Registered: Oct 2011
suckstobeme
♀ Member
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 6:43 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I vote for damage control and an attempt to get the upper hand with "new people", such as the teacher and counselor. He is dying to come off as the good guy, all the while with this new OWife strapped to his ass.

He's got her on the one side demanding that he make his "new family" happy. He's got his kids on another side shining that mirror in his face, you know the one that he never expected while he thought they would just accept that he decided to demolish their family. He's got his own family clicking thier tongues at his behavior. And, finally, he has you expecting him to fly straight and do right by his kids.

He's floundering or as I say about my ex, doggie paddling through life. It's only gonna get worse and he's too stupid to see.

So, these feeble attempts at trying to look like dad of the year? I say, whatever. He's nothing but a fake and he knows it. Like the typical WS, he'll do what makes him feel better about himself as long as there is no real effort.


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2753 | Registered: Jan 2011
million pieces
♀ Member
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex did all those things before our trial. He had never done the school thing before, so it was very odd. He hasn't attended a single school function since, so you know why he did it


Me - 42
2 kids, 9 and 11
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 9:25 PM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gosh, trying, I think he's just wants to look good. I doubt his brain his capable of hatching some diabolical plot. I mean, sheesh, he married the first bitch he scored off of ashley madison, right? This guy is not the sharpest tool in the shed...


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4608 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Vulcanized
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 2:25 AM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I mean, sheesh, he married the first bitch he scored off of ashley madison, right? This guy is not the sharpest tool in the shed...

Harsh, Tesla. And, like, 8000% true.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 738 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, August 31st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If OW wasn't going for her kid's orientation, he wouldn't be going.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3281 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, September 1st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, the orientation went well. XWH stood there like a total dope; he was completely unhelpful and like a fish out of water. I forgot that I had some additional paperwork to fill out while DD was in the classroom getting to know her teacher, so XWH, our two DSs, and I went down to the auditorium to sit so that I could fill things out, and we could wait for DD to be done.

It was like sitting with three children. He was trying so hard to be super cool dad, and he was being so immature. It was almost embarrassing; I was glad that we weren't seated closely to anyone else.

Anyway, there was no point to him being there, and when I drove my car over to where he was parked so that I could get my kids' stuff, the Owife was standing several feet away rather pathetically (and STILL looks like she stepped out of a bad 80s fashion spread) with her two kids, who stared at me like they were experiencing a Bigfoot sighting. It was kind of funny, actually. Here goes XWH with his second family to orientation! I hope people noticed and thought he was a pig.

My family has long thought that XWH is bipolar (though he would never admit to that and would never get treated), and one family member speculated that this sudden burst of interest in the kids might be because he's in a manic phase. It does make sense when I think about it, and I'm glad that I'm not the one who will have to deal with him when he eventually crashes again into a depressive phase. Have fun, Owife! Hope you can "meet his needs" during that part of his personality's roller coaster ride!

Thanks for your responses. Tesla, you totally crack me up!

[This message edited by tryingagain74 at 11:04 AM, September 1st (Sunday)]


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3571 | Registered: Oct 2011
ninebark
♀ Member
Member # 24534
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

a favorite comment of mine :

"I will take DS to(insert event here), so you can have a break"

everything he does is calculated to make himself look like the super cool wonderful dad.

RIIIIGGGHHHTTT

I have DS pretty much 90% of the time. His idea of giving me a break is taking DS out for 2.5 hours and then bringing him home...not even enough time to take in a movie...thanks for the break.lol

THey can be such nads


BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.

Posts: 630 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 8

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