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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: "Consolation"
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's such a hard one. I'm trying to keep things friendly for the kids' sakes - and she says she is as well. I'm just not sure how to say, "Don't come into my place" without it appearing to be an act of war.

The thing is, though, you already ARE fighting a war. You just don't accept that fact. All these condescending jabs she makes at you? Those are acts of war. Her coming into your house? That's an invasion of your territory. An act of war.

You're not doing your kids any favors by modeling a weak man for them. Whether or not you ARE a weak man is beside the point. You're just sitting there & letting her disrespect you IN YOUR OWN FUCKING HOME. That's what your kids are learning. When my counselor finally got it through my head that my kids were learning to behave exactly as I behaved (or that in the future that's how their partners should behave while they behaved like STBX), I knew I was failing as a parent. Healthy parents model healthy behavior. Sometimes healthy behavior isn't nicey-nice. Healthy behavior includes properly enforced boundaries and not permitting others to treat us like shit.

Billy Conollly. Practice!

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9810 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seriously. That bitch needs to wait outside. My ex used to think it was fine to come in the back first, I let him. Then he broke into my house and now I got this shit locked up tighter than fort knox. Pad locked the back gate he used to come in. He was pissed the first time he tried the gate and had to suffer the indignity of knocking on *his* front door...because that was locked too. Doors are always locked when he comes over for a pick-up. Teslet is always ready to go out the door when I open it.

The first couple of times you try to enforce it, she'll go ape-shit. Fuck that bitch. Fuck that bitch and her condescending "Ooooh, I know you still want me," attitude. But you'll feel so much better that you have your space and she can't pollute it with her presence.

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4683 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Topic Posts: 22
Pages: 1 · 2

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