That's such a hard one. I'm trying to keep things friendly for the kids' sakes - and she says she is as well. I'm just not sure how to say, "Don't come into my place" without it appearing to be an act of war.
The thing is, though, you already ARE fighting a war. You just don't accept that fact. All these condescending jabs she makes at you? Those are acts of war. Her coming into your house? That's an invasion of your territory. An act of war.
You're not doing your kids any favors by modeling a weak man for them. Whether or not you ARE a weak man is beside the point. You're just sitting there & letting her disrespect you IN YOUR OWN FUCKING HOME. That's what your kids are learning. When my counselor finally got it through my head that my kids were learning to behave exactly as I behaved (or that in the future that's how their partners should behave while they behaved like STBX), I knew I was failing as a parent. Healthy parents model healthy behavior. Sometimes healthy behavior isn't nicey-nice. Healthy behavior includes properly enforced boundaries and not permitting others to treat us like shit.
Billy Conollly. Practice!