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TLhurting (original poster member #25156) posted at 8:49 PM on Tuesday, August 27th, 2013
Is it okay to just keep them in a cupboard until I can deal? It was a happy day for me, and frankly, there are a lot of family pictures I'd love to keep. It's just that ExWH is in them.
It's been 2 years and he's actually marrying the OW in a few weeks (
) and it feels like it's time.
lostmommy ( member #33440) posted at 8:51 PM on Tuesday, August 27th, 2013
I saved mine so that in case J wants to look at them when he's older he can. We were happy once, and I want him to see that.
((((TL))))
Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself
EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 8:57 PM on Tuesday, August 27th, 2013
I kept mine..from both marriages.
I figure it was apart of my life - just can't erase it.
gma56 ( member #19595) posted at 9:06 PM on Tuesday, August 27th, 2013
I took a few of me with my family but gave the rest to FT in one of his boxes.
BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.
click4it ( member #209) posted at 9:24 PM on Tuesday, August 27th, 2013
Put them in boxes out of sight. Seal them with duct tape. Then its sealed, can't get to them easy and its "away".
It might be tempting to toss or burn them in light of his upcoming new marriage
...but later on you might wish you had kept them.
(((((hugs)))
Me: 45
Two boys: 20 and 17
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01
Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?
persevere ( member #31468) posted at 10:09 PM on Tuesday, August 27th, 2013
I still have them, they are in the albums in a box. I will mess with it if and when I decide I want to. Otherwise, I won't.
It's your call TLH.
DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.
cmego ( member #30346) posted at 10:15 PM on Tuesday, August 27th, 2013
I don't know what happened to mine...I left them all at the house when I moved out. I've never asked what he did with them.
me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced
Crescita ( member #32616) posted at 10:34 PM on Tuesday, August 27th, 2013
I just pared mine down a bunch whenever I was in a good mind frame to do so. I couldn't bring myself to toss the lot as there are pictures of people I care about in the mix. I'm not even sure where they are at the moment but the idea of them no longer upsets me.
“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning
Dreamboat ( member #10506) posted at 10:55 PM on Tuesday, August 27th, 2013
I avoid them like the plague.
When X moved out I put them with his other shit. Then my parent's passed away and my sister gave all that they had -- and it was A LOT. When she gave them to me I pushed them away and said I didn't want them and she pushed them back and said that DD may want them someday. So I carted them home and set them in a corner and 4 years later that is where they sit. And oh yeah, the wedding dress -- same exact story. ugh
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine
forced2moveon ( member #12014) posted at 11:00 PM on Tuesday, August 27th, 2013
I saved mine for my kids. I have them in a photo box high on a shelf in my closet along with my wedding/engagement rings. I'll give them to my boys when they're older.
wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 11:49 PM on Tuesday, August 27th, 2013
I too saved mine for the banana bunch. They never see their father and don't really like him, like, at all, but maybe they'll want them someday.
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 12:00 AM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
I kept a picture of me dancing with my father and a picture of my parents together. I gave the X his parents, a few others that I don't remember and one of him & his groomsmen; I told him maybe he could have my brother airbrushed out of it
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 12:04 AM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
I kept mine. Last year, the guy that I was dating asked to see them, so we went through them and made fun of my 80's hair and my wxh's mullet. It was cathartic.
I'm glad that I kept them because those are the last pictures that I have of my grandparents.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
kernel ( member #27035) posted at 12:47 AM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
I have everything in a box somewhere. At the time, I put them away and figured I would deal with them later. Later hasn't arrived yet.
"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."
I.will.survive ( member #34677) posted at 1:27 AM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
I couldn't imagine throwing wedding pictures away! So many friends and relatives that are captured there.
I have ZERO desire to look at them and they are boxed up for my son who may one day be curious. Plus, I'm sure relatives will have passed on by then and having these memories will be a good thing.
Besides, the man I married is in those pictures. Not the man I divorced.
ruinedandbroken ( member #29250) posted at 2:19 AM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
I put them all in the attic and there they will stay, unless one of my kids wants them.
“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 8&11
Married 14 yrs Together 21
vivere ( member #34465) posted at 2:28 AM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
Besides, the man I married is in those pictures. Not the man I divorced.
Brilliant!
You are responsible for your own happiness :)
jjct ( member #17484) posted at 3:00 AM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
My vain hope was in those pictures.
My dope.
Everybody here is so ahead of me I hope.
I cut them out with fined knife, to hide
my past lost picture's pain,
and fear though I lost picture's hope,
it will repeat again.
Nothing I can do will change the past.
SBB ( member #35229) posted at 3:16 AM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
I gave them all to the sad clown except for one group photo (it was a small wedding of 10) should the girls ever want to see it. It's put away where I'll never accidentally come across it.
My only regret is giving him any of me on my own because the fucker put one up "proudly on display for all who come into my home to see" according to him.
Oh so creepy.
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
lynnm1947 ( member #15300) posted at 3:53 PM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
Keep them. Put them away somewhere you don't have to see them all the time. Keep them because if you have kids, they may some day want them. You are the mommy and your XH is their daddy, regardless.
Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!
"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks
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