Basically like someone else said, I wanted to have it out there so that I would really have to look at whether to stay or not and why. And while I am not influenced completely by others, I do want to hear from those that have been there done that, and their outcomes.
How did you get your WS to tell his/her parents/family? I want so much for his family to know
I never thought I'd be one to stay with a cheater. If someone else were in my place I'd tell them to get the hell out...
Not telling my parents right away was hard. I am glad they know now. My mother in law has never mentioned it to me, and almost makes me feel like I am the one who screwed up - I didn't get the desired result from her knowing. I hoped she would help open his eyes to what he was risking, but instead she seems to feel badly for him and is trying to make his life easier.
I haven't told my mother. I want to, but I just can't. I know that my mother would just tell me to leave him and would push me to leave. My whole family would, so I've decided not to tell them.
Right or wrong, I felt that if he could hurt DD and I so shockingly, couldn't he do it to them? I was not given the gift of honesty by many people-only two and one was OW-so I felt that if someone could be hurt by him, they deserved to know it. He was lying to his family members to cover his tracks or protect OW, so no one was immune.
I think it also depends on the outcome of the relationship and how far reaching an A is. Sometimes it can be covered and sometimes it can't, or will come out because of gossip, too.
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
I told his family and my closest family. I couldn't avoid telling his family. I threw him out on dday and needed someone to drag him out of here. He also needed a place to stay.
I would tell who you want to tell for you to have a support system. You will need someone you can trust who you can talk to and will not judge you but just be there for you.
I think I would've regretted making him announce it to the world. Once it's done you can't take it back.
I chose not to tell too many people as I didn't want them to think differently of us, or loose respect for him, if we were able to R.
That was in the early days. Now that we are 5 years out, I will tell just about anyone that is having their own difficult time with things. I also share our story of R, with all the ugly parts too. Then I also tell them about this fabulous place that helped me through it all.
I do have this urge to tell his family, or ask him to. I don't know why.
I don't know how to present this idea to him, either. What good will it do for them to know? Besides making me feel better for some unknown reason. How do I ask him to tell his parents and brothers?