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User Topic: Roller coaster of emotion is now on the uphill climb of numbness
anemie
♀ Member
Member # 37543
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We were doing great, we are a year past the A, almost a year to Dday, and I had been fine I thought. I don't know if its the stress of just having had another baby or what but suddenly his attention bothers me, I feel completely numb towards him. I don't want him to hug me, I don't want to hold hands. I certainly don't want to kiss and lately I have been over joyed that I am 4 weeks postpartum so technically I can't have sex either. It upsets me that I get annoyed by his attention. Please tell me this numbness will go away again. I feel completely indifferent towards my husband and my marriage.


D-Day October 18th, 2012 D-Day2 October 5th 2013
4 kids 12,11,7, 1 and one sweet little newborn

Posts: 112 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: MA
Thinkingtoomuch
♀ Member
Member # 31765
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Anemie,

I think alot of what you're feeling is the big postpartum hormonal shift. You've heard of postpartum depression? Well, it's due to the major change in hormones after the baby is born. And what you've described sounds like it too. Hormones affect our moods and all kinds of thought and physical processes. Remember PMS, and wait til menopause!! The changes are really something to see or experience.


Your body is also tired. You gave alot to that baby and I note this is your 5th?? More power to you!! And congratulations!

Resting and bonding with the baby will eventually give you more energy to feel normal.

Again congratulations!


Posts: 818 | Registered: Apr 2011
anemie
♀ Member
Member # 37543
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks I'm sure that's probably just what it is. After the last baby was born last year, we were doing great at least I thought we were, that's when he was having a PA with OW1 and an EA with OW2. So having another baby has dragged up a lot of negative memories. He is doing absolutely everything right and has been great, it just makes me feel horrible because I feel nothing towards him right now and we had worked so hard towards R that it suddenly feels like 10 steps back and I'm terrified that after the postpartum hormones level out that I will still feel the same way.


D-Day October 18th, 2012 D-Day2 October 5th 2013
4 kids 12,11,7, 1 and one sweet little newborn

Posts: 112 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: MA
ItsaClimb
♀ Member
Member # 37107
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Could well be post-natal hormones doing a number on you, but it may also be that you have reached the "Plain of Lethal flatness" - have a look here: http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/healing_library/reconciliation/lethal_flatness.asp and here: http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=497951

{hugs}


BS 46
Together 29 yrs, M 25 years
2 daughters 24yo(married with a brand new little daughter) & 19yo
D-Day 18 Aug 2012
6mth EA lead to 4mth PA with CO-W. I found out 8 1/2 yrs later

Posts: 1024 | Registered: Oct 2012
Thinkingtoomuch
♀ Member
Member # 31765
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here's another aspect to think about. Finding out about the A puts us in PTSD mode. That was last year after your last baby. While you would have been coping and surviving the A, you got pregnant, taking you off course. What you thought had been your real life wasn't.

I think what your feeling is another reminder of DDay. And it does make you feel all the same feelings and thoughts. You never had a chance to really grieve, get angry, even think. You had your children, your pregnancy, your new babies to keep you busy instead.

Now, the scene looks the same, so you're reminded of it all and in numb protective mode.

So with all that said, I am 2 1/2 yrs. out and am still affected by xwf's A in a different way, that showed up only 2 months ago and has stayed. It's very stressful and isolating.

And I agree, the "Plain of lethal flatness" can also play a part.

Keep drinking, eating, taking care of yourself to get the hormones and your health straight, cuz the babies need you and it will all help in the long run.

My best with hugs.

[This message edited by Thinkingtoomuch at 11:28 AM, August 25th (Sunday)]


Posts: 818 | Registered: Apr 2011
Topic Posts: 5

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