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Newest Member: formerlyjoyful (44597)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Compartmentalization
kg201
♂ Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, August 22nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just spent some time typing out a list of statements that are written from my WW's perspective as justifications for her lying and cheating on me.

I started the list with "Iím justified in lying and cheating on K, and continuing to maintain a relationship with the OM because:" I came up with 25 statements to this, most of which are things she has said, and the rest I have implied.

I am trying to decide whether to show her this list. So many of the statements seem so ludicrous and it amazes me that she can't see it (I know. The fog). Maybe in MC?

Has anyone else done something like this?


Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
---------------------------------
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 648 | Registered: Aug 2013
idealist
♂ Member
Member # 9462
Default  Posted: 10:44 PM, August 22nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi K,
I notice that you have just this month registered. I am going to assume that you have only recently had your D-Day?

In the early days of such an insane and traumatic experience few waywards have walked backward to really understand what the reality of their behavior means. So, I think your 25 statements probably do show a pattern of behavior that is deluded and just somewhat crazy. But she probably isn't ready to let go of her delusions just yet. Those delusions are psychic defense mechanisms.....run amok.

This will take some time and patience - don't rush her or yourself (but don't tolerate abuse either).

I am so so so sorry for your horrible experience :-( I hope you know you are not alone!


Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.

Posts: 1732 | Registered: Jan 2006 | From: Southern California
RedWheelBarrow
♀ Member
Member # 38966
Default  Posted: 1:40 AM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a good idea! I wish I had done this. I might still, actually. Keep it for the future, as she may not be able to see herself right now.
Would love to read your list!


Me: BW 50
Him:Rockstar late 50's
DS: 10 , so precious.
Married 14 years, together 17 years
DDay #1 Nov.2012, plus more, more, more!
OW : 25 years younger than him, left her BH for my prize beast.
He moved in with her April,2013.
D Filed 4/

Posts: 104 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: NW
Topic Posts: 3

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