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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men Part 13
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 7:27 AM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The Menz thread is our safe place, out of respect for the mods we try not to drag conversations in here where they can't be commented on. I think that's pretty fair.
Agreed. We are often allowed to play a little fast and loose with the rules down here, so I think we have a responsibility to try our best to avoid out-and-out breaking them.


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1604 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Damn sickness. You know its bad when going back to work is preferable to a 2 day stint in my recliner watching movies and getting to level 50 on my Borderlands2 character.

Looks like Tred is having quite the time. Happy for you brother!


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 957 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
fireguy87
♂ New Member
Member # 36992
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Guys! I've been lurking for quite a while. You guyz in bmenz rock. Holy crap do you guys move fast. I was gonna post on something at about page 35 and by the time I got around to it you were 6 pages further and on a whole different subject...

I also want to call out to MW, WAL, & 1985(?). Everything I've read from you guys has fit me to a tee. I don't want to say that I'm glad I'm not alone in my feelings (because i don't want anyone to have to experience this) but I think you know what I mean. Thankyou for your Wisdom!

I am almost 20 years out here due to stupid triggers that I let control me. (nothing my W did).

I look forward to joining your discussions.


eta:nothing my W did recently.

[This message edited by fireguy87 at 10:53 AM, September 17th (Tuesday)]


Me - FBH
Happened many years ago
Reconciled

Posts: 40 | Registered: Sep 2012
Stillkicking
♂ Member
Member # 38246
Default  Posted: 11:07 AM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Damn sickness. You know its bad when going back to work is preferable to a 2 day stint in my recliner watching movies and getting to level 50 on my Borderlands2 character.

I love borderlands, I am about to retire it though gonna grab gta5 today.

You play on ps Xbox or PC rye??
I have like 260 items in my backpack most are legendary level 50 that I could dup for you if you are on ps

[This message edited by Stillkicking at 11:08 AM, September 17th (Tuesday)]


You'll never learn to fly
until your standing at the cliff

I reserve my right to feel uncomfortable reserve my right to be afraid.
I make mistakes and I am humbled every step of the way.


Posts: 126 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Canada
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 11:10 AM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey fireguy87. Welcome!

I know what you mean. I usually don't post on weekends, and when get back to it I have 2 hours worth of reading to get caught up.

Sorry about the triggers. Do you attend IC for those?


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 957 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SK,

Thx for the offer I play on my SS's XBox though. I'm at lvl 47 right now.

I have a very small handful of games I play. It's my end of the day veg out activity most of the time.


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 957 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Would a guy really wait to be otherwise occupied with a female before he leaves his wife?

While I am with Tred and FP I admit that I am a little confused by this statement. Are you saying that you think people should be dating before they are D/S..?

If that's what you meant, I kinda think that anyone should wait until they're extricated from their current mess before getting involved in a new relationship. Yeah it sucks to be the responsible one in a relationship with a Lesser Muppet as it were, but we've all taken a drag from that particular shit pipe because doing otherwise carries its own consequences.

I don't know what the thread is and don't plan to go over there or discuss other posters opinions in this thread for the above reasons. I'm not sure discussing flups thoughts on the subject outside the comments of others are out of bounds though. If they are then throw rocks at me while I grunt apologies from a pool of blood on the ground.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7110 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
MoreWould
♂ Member
Member # 37982
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

F87

Thanks for the props, but if you've been at it for 20 years, then you can do more than relate. You too have wisdom to share.

Being far from DDay is it's own special world, a bed of roses indeed, including the thorns. I've broken some bones in my life, and A's are a bit like that. They heal, but they are always with you, and sometimes they hurt unexpectedly.


Me BH/WH, 63
Her WW/BW, 62
Her DDay Dec 1976 OMW at the door
My DDay, ~ 2years later, confessed ONS the next day
R via "Sweeping under the rug"
Still married, 40 yrs, mostly OK
2 kids, 24 & 20

Posts: 347 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Colorado
Mr. Kite
♂ Member
Member # 28840
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome fireguy87!

Being far from DDay is it's own special world

You've got that right. Sometimes I feel like I don't even belong here because by now I should have either extricated myself from this madness or figured out how to live with it.

Then again, I have a WW who has done almost no work to help us both heal up and retreated behind her wall of silence. Plus my gut tells me that there have been other D-Days since the original two that she has yet to share with me.


Posts: 900 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Mid-Atlantic
damaged71
♂ Member
Member # 36004
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Just wanted to post about an interesting experience I had yesterday.

I was in the gym yesterday and happened to see a very attractive girl I had seen there before. She looked at me and waved. I half heatedly waved back and went on about my business. During my workout I noticed she kept walking past where I was.

I did my thing and was walking out and noticed her intently doing something else as I was leaving.

I got to my car and recorded my workout in my car and I see her heading across the parking lot. She stops by my car and makes light conversation and we part.

I thought this was a little odd. I realized that I didn't have my wedding band on because it cuts my hand when I lift. I realized she was flirting with me.

I found that odd because that hasn't happened in at least 10 years. Maybe something changed in me that she could pick up on. I don't look any different.

Not sure what's going on. Don't worry, I'm not even entertaining it...

I just found it strange that it happened after all this time.


I didn't know there was this much emotional pain in the universe!
Me 42
Her 44
D-day 5.18.12
Currently in R

Posts: 305 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: damaged71
ontheslope
♂ Member
Member # 40574
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Kite man... that's horrible.

I don't know what's worse... that, or my situation. I have a wife who has been nothing but awesome over the past few months (once I finally stopped faking it and told her how miserable i really was), but yet I still don't really feel anything for her, and I don't know that I ever can/will. I'd almost rather have a wife who wasn't trying - I think I'd feel obligated to leave at that point. But... and this is going to sound weird, she's trying so hard, despite the A I almost feel that it would be a smack in the face to leave now.


Me: BH, 35
Her: WW, 36
Two girls 7 & 10
Married 12 years
Dday: July, 2009

She wants answers... I'm still trying to figure out what the questions are.


Posts: 255 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Maine, USA
damaged71
♂ Member
Member # 36004
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OTS...

I felt that my wife thought it was her duty to extinguish with extreme prejudice any "warm and fuzzy" feeling I had for her.

You know, the special feeling of "love" that makes you feel cozy inside.

My wife made sure that any remnants of that were gone. I remember the last time I felt it and what she did to squash it.

I haven't felt it since. She doesn't know that and I don't know how to tell her. I am hoping that it will come back over time but I am not sure it will.

This scares me.

ETA: Now she is great. She is really been perfect and is trying very hard to make me happy. She is doing everything she can.

[This message edited by damaged71 at 12:44 PM, September 17th (Tuesday)]


I didn't know there was this much emotional pain in the universe!
Me 42
Her 44
D-day 5.18.12
Currently in R

Posts: 305 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: damaged71
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

damaged, I remember similar incidents after dday when I deliberately took my ring off for awhile. One girl followed me around the hardware store and asked me if I needed any help at least 3 times. I was so pissed off at the time I didn't think about it until later.

In the weeks and months following dday that seems to be kind of common for BHs. I had assumed I was just seeing what I wanted to see but apparently we all radiate some kind of FUCK YOU IM AWESOME vibe or something. Either that or the complete and utter disinterest captures a certain kind of attention.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7110 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's the same sitch for a lot of us, you are left as the bad guy to the kids if you leave now, as she has done 'all she could' when in reality it was the bare minimum.


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5359 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

...as she has done 'all she could' when in reality it was the bare minimum.

I got that line so many times. Me being the insensitive lazy bad guy in STBXWW's mind justified a lot of things for her.


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 957 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
MoreWould
♂ Member
Member # 37982
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SG

Yeah, there's something going on there all right. I put it down to some women's attraction to brokenness, they just want to mother you back to health. Female version of KISA, I guess but who knows.

I had a woman slap me during my "ringless" days when she started making advances and I told her I was married.


Me BH/WH, 63
Her WW/BW, 62
Her DDay Dec 1976 OMW at the door
My DDay, ~ 2years later, confessed ONS the next day
R via "Sweeping under the rug"
Still married, 40 yrs, mostly OK
2 kids, 24 & 20

Posts: 347 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Colorado
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is it time for a new thread yet? I am waiting..............



My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to give you all a heads up.

When searching for "gifs" if you are looking for gifs from the movie Swingers....you should google search "Swingers MOVIE gifs"

If you just search "swingers gifs"....well, you end up with a whole mess of porn. D'oh.


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 2:05 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Speechless.
(at being slapped for being unavailable)

[This message edited by jjct at 2:07 PM, September 17th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 6018 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

damaged, I remember similar incidents after dday when I deliberately took my ring off for awhile. One girl followed me around the hardware store and asked me if I needed any help at least 3 times. I was so pissed off at the time I didn't think about it until later.

I had an even more blatant experience. I was in the mall with STBX, and she insisted on going into the fancy makeup store, where all the staff are wearing belt packs prepared to do makeovers on everyone to demonstrate products, and have earpieces so they can call each other quietly for help. I was sort of shuffling along while STBX was doing whatever and somewhat frustrated that she could not find what she was looking for. She was ignored by staff, but I was offered help by one of the girls there 3 times, including an offer of a makeover. On the fourth attempt she asked me if I was sure she couldn't get me anything, and I took a last sip emptying my cup and said "Well, I don't suppose you have coffee refills".


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
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