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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men Part 13
ontheslope
♂ Member
Member # 40574
Default  Posted: 6:42 PM, September 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well said Sal, well said.

Flup - it's been 5 years and you are still struggling to forgive your wife. How much lonfer would it take to forgive YOURSELF if you decided to sink to her level. Sucks to have a conscience sometimes, but it sucks worse when you try to ignore it and do something that you know is wrong.

Some people are just selfish. Some people just have no morals. Some people just like being bad. Pretty sure just about everyone in this thread considers themselves to be one of the good guys. Trust me... you can join the bad guy club anytime, but you only get one shot at being in the good guy club.


Me: BH, 35
Her: WW, 36
Two girls 7 & 10
Married 12 years
Dday: July, 2009

She wants answers... I'm still trying to figure out what the questions are.


Posts: 255 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Maine, USA
flup
♂ Member
Member # 21259
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, September 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

God Dammit, you're right.

Being good is hard, being bad is easy.

That said, there's nothing to say I have to forgive her for what she has done. I don't think I have to.

I've made the decision to NOT forgive her. It's just too egregious! That said, I don't know where that leaves us. I know that I can't forgive her - it's not in me to forgive a betrayal of that immensity. It's not like she tripped and fell on a dick - she plotted, lied, gaslighted, TT'd, me to death.

Shit... but I still love her. She just turned 50 and still has the body of a 35 year old (no stretch marks or hangers). I mean... Wow. The OM got to have fun with her when she was ovulating and horny - I get her back in menopause, dry and non-sexual. Great. Pretty bitter about that, too.

Sorry to have been a wet blanket... time for another IPA!


Me: BS 55
Her: fWW 50

D-Day #1: 12 Aug. 2008. WW's 2nd affair w/college teacher.
D-Day #2: 18 June 2009. Affair #1 with neighbor was fall of 2002 - while I was coping with the fallout from 9/11.
Still trying to R.
22 years married


Posts: 426 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Ohio
wincing_at_light
♂ Member
Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, September 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, when she tries to talk during sex from now on, just set the ground rules: "Shut the fuck up and service me."

I'd probably say that before you put anything sensitive in her mouth, though.


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6687 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
wincing_at_light
♂ Member
Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, September 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BTW, I like boobs. I like my wife's boobs, too...but I dig boobs in general. I dig the idea of boobs. I dig boobs I've seen on TV, in magazines, at the movies, and when chicks bend over in front of me in low-cut shirts.

Full disclosure and all that.


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6687 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
flup
♂ Member
Member # 21259
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, September 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You should see the new flight attendant uniforms our airline has now too... VERY form fitting (for those that have form) and very blue. Yikes!

The ones that don't have form, have other options to wear, and - thankfully - don't have to be convinced to go that other route.


Me: BS 55
Her: fWW 50

D-Day #1: 12 Aug. 2008. WW's 2nd affair w/college teacher.
D-Day #2: 18 June 2009. Affair #1 with neighbor was fall of 2002 - while I was coping with the fallout from 9/11.
Still trying to R.
22 years married


Posts: 426 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Ohio
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, September 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well.. who doesn't like boobs? Even fucking babies like boobs.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7091 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 9:50 PM, September 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Men's magazines, full of pictures of boobs. Women's magazines full of pictures of boobs.

Just sayin'.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, September 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BTW, I like boobs. I like my wife's boobs, too...but I dig boobs in general. I dig the idea of boobs. I dig boobs I've seen on TV, in magazines, at the movies, and when chicks bend over in front of me in low-cut shirts.

(Homer Simpson voice): Mmmmmm, booo-bieees

Well.. who doesn't like boobs? Even fucking babies like boobs.

True, babies are well-known boob connoisseurs.

The wisdom on this thread is mind-blowing. That's why it gets the highest lurking traffic on SI according to my own unscientific study.

ETA: "Well said Sal, well said"

Back at ya, slope. Glad you have joined us, under the circumstances.

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 10:17 PM, September 14th (Saturday)]


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1024 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
nuance
♂ Member
Member # 28793
Default  Posted: 11:57 PM, September 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like boobies but I'm more an ass man.

Now if I just could erase the dick buffet picture from my mind...

My FWW says that she falls in love with anyone that fucks her. When I get mad at that she says that I don't have to worry because I'm the only one doing that now. Right, that's love for you.

Incidentally she does that for everything even for football. While I stay faithful to the team I always rooted for she changes her team to anyone that is close by. It sucks.


Dday May 2000. R'ed.
People suck.

Posts: 1155 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: California
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 7:41 AM, September 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Incidentally she does that for everything even for football. While I stay faithful to the team I always rooted for she changes her team to anyone that is close by. It sucks.
Sounds like grounds for divorce to this guy.
...but I''m more an ass man.
Same here. Anything over a ''B'' and I start to lose interest.

I'm off to play some full court 5 on 5 this morning... Should be fun.

[This message edited by FacePunched at 7:42 AM, September 15th, 2013 (Sunday)]


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1582 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
ontheslope
♂ Member
Member # 40574
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, September 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Flup - I hear ya on the flight attendants. I travel for work quite a bit and there are some awful fine ladies flying the friendly skies.

Sal - I think wisdom comes with being cock-punched by our WWs. That kind of thing makes you take stock of your life and concentrate on the big picture items. All the little meaningless things get pushed aside, and you realize what is truly important.

And while I don't consider myself a boob man, I can enjoy a nice set of hooters when I want to. Personally, I'm more of a leg man. Give me a woman with a flat stomach and nice legs and I can be a happy man.

But.... I've learned over the years that looks aren't everything. In the end, I'd settle for a woman whom I can trust and who I can truly connect with. Right now, sad to say, that's not the woman I'm married to. But, such is life.


Me: BH, 35
Her: WW, 36
Two girls 7 & 10
Married 12 years
Dday: July, 2009

She wants answers... I'm still trying to figure out what the questions are.


Posts: 255 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Maine, USA
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, September 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd settle for a woman whom I can trust and who I can truly connect with.

bad thing is each of us thought we had that at one time...


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5358 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
ontheslope
♂ Member
Member # 40574
Default  Posted: 10:50 AM, September 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bad thing is each of us thought we had that at one time... 

True dat, yo. True dat.

Can I take a mulligan?


Me: BH, 35
Her: WW, 36
Two girls 7 & 10
Married 12 years
Dday: July, 2009

She wants answers... I'm still trying to figure out what the questions are.


Posts: 255 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Maine, USA
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, September 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

*sigh*... and the physical violence double standard persists...

[This message edited by FacePunched at 11:50 AM, September 15th, 2013 (Sunday)]


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1582 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, September 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

fp, why would it change? It is ingrained in our society.


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5358 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
ontheslope
♂ Member
Member # 40574
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, September 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dude... it's ALWAYS our fault. didn't you know that?

If she cheats, it's because you didn't love her enough. If you cheat, it's because you are a selfish ass-hat who didn't care about your wife or family. If the kids are bad it's because they didn't have a good male role model in their life. If the kids are good, it's because they had an awesome mother. If you leave, you're giving up. If you stay, your a sap with no balls to stand up for yourself. If you hit her, you're a wife beater. If she hits you, it's because you deserved it, you sanctimonious ass-hole. If she doesn't have the stuff she wants, it is because you don't make enough money. You're expected to open doors, pay for the meal, drive the car... unless she didn't want you to, then if you did those things you were encroaching on her independence as a woman. If you work late, you're neglecting your family. If you leave work early, you're a slacker. If she wanted you to call and you didn't, it's your fault for not reading her fucking mind. Same with gifts at christmas and birthdays and anniversaries.

ugh... I'll get off my soapbox now.


Me: BH, 35
Her: WW, 36
Two girls 7 & 10
Married 12 years
Dday: July, 2009

She wants answers... I'm still trying to figure out what the questions are.


Posts: 255 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Maine, USA
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, September 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine has even taught the kids it is always my fault, and even the kids are my fault-once she screamed at me "we wouldn't have these kids if you hadn't stuck your dick in me!"

Hard to forget that one.


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5358 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, September 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Holy shit 64. I hope your kids didn't hear that at least.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7091 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, September 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At least I am not dating or married to a minority, that would just be too much double standard to overcome in this day of doctorates in angry studies.

I take comfort in the fact that one day I will be an old dead white guy and they will all ignore me.

[This message edited by aesir at 3:03 PM, September 15th (Sunday)]


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
wincing_at_light
♂ Member
Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, September 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've just got to say that the Kramer-turkey on the front page is just plain fucked up.

It was cool maybe the first fifty times, but now I'm starting to think I'm having old acid flashbacks.


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6687 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
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