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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Is a LinkedIn invite from OW fishing?
sri624
♀ Member
Member # 33956
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, August 22nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

my h came to me this morning to tell me that he had a LinkedIn invite from the ow..and showed me the invite in his email. We have been nc for almost a year. Remember this is the same woman who tried to "be friends" with me a few months after dday. and sent him anonymous letter at his job after she told me she would not contact him again. we both did nc.

now this morning, the invite to my husband from her in LinkedIn.

what do you think? he said that he will just ignore it. Or do you think he should go into LinkedIn and decline her invite...if you can do that...or just ignore altogether.

I am thinking ignore period...but i wanted to see what you guys thought.


BS (41):(Former Doormat)
WS (39):(Busted Cheater)
Married: 10 years, 3 kids under 5
DD1: 10/11 PA/EA with pilates instructor/former stripper.
DD2: 10/12 False r, cheating with other women, online dating,Substance abuse issues.
Attempting R in bi

Posts: 934 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Alabama
Mack9512
♀ Member
Member # 38619
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, August 22nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Definitely fishing. I hate LinkedIn because of how easy it is to stalk a person on it.

Only crickets. She means nothing so she gets nothing.

Mack


"If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello." - Paulo Coehlo

Posts: 395 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: East Coast
OldCow18
♀ Member
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, August 22nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She has balls, huh? Good for your H to tell you right away. I see the options there are to accept, ignore, or report as spam. While I'd be very tempted to report her as spam, ignoring is probably best. Then have him delete the invite from his message box.


Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
Audrina
♀ Member
Member # 31522
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, August 22nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't you just love it when the desperate OW s come out fishing?
No class whatsoever.

Yes, I consider this as fishing.

Ignore or decline the invitation? Hmmm
My first instinct tells me to decline that way you don't have to see her picture in your inbox.

Sorry, she is still trying to connect with you and your H. It must be damn annoying.


Me (betrayed): 35
Him:45


Posts: 266 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Canada
Lovedyoumore
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, August 22nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MC said to be prepared for OW to come back around. He compared it to a vampire (not venting, that is what he said) coming back to their previous victims looking for the familiar and anything they can get to feed a need.

I think she is fishing, hoping for a bite. No pun intended.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1468 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
sri624
♀ Member
Member # 33956
Default  Posted: 1:27 PM, August 22nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

okay...guys...i think just going crickets is best. no acknowledgement at all. part of me wanted him to decline...and have that send a message.

but i think it would open the door. she would be like..."oh, he declined...i wonder why...let me contact him again."

if there was no response at all...she would just drive herself crazy wondering why he didnt respond. that is better.

same with me...when she sent me an email a while back, i just ignored her. i am sure she spent the whole day wondering why i didnt respond.

thanks guys.


BS (41):(Former Doormat)
WS (39):(Busted Cheater)
Married: 10 years, 3 kids under 5
DD1: 10/11 PA/EA with pilates instructor/former stripper.
DD2: 10/12 False r, cheating with other women, online dating,Substance abuse issues.
Attempting R in bi

Posts: 934 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Alabama
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, August 22nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ignore her. It'll drive her nuts.

I'm currently sitting on a LinkedIn invitation from my husband's ex - while she's not exactly an OW, they did talk and text some last year when we were quasi-separated. Nothing happened but still - ick. She has no reason to request me other than nosiness/trying to get an "in."


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6724 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Tearsoflove
♀ Member
Member # 8271
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, August 22nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have gotten some odd invites on linked in from people I know only in passing. I am assuming that linked in, like facebook and pretty much every other app allows the sending of a blanket invite that goes out to all contacts in an email address book. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, if you haven't heard from her in forever it's always possible she used an old email address to sign up and it did the blanket invite thing. Or that she recently connected a mobile phone.

I know my husband connected a mobile phone to the internet and didn't know what he was doing. He sent a facebook invite to every single person in his phone contacts (including the auto parts store), completely by accident. He now has more facebook friends than he ever wanted...LOL. And he still doesn't know how he did it.


"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson


Posts: 4077 | Registered: Sep 2005
EvenKeel
♀ Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 1:39 PM, August 22nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just so you are prepared....LinkedIn will continue to send you "reminders" for a little while. I have two requests now that I am ignoring and about once a week I get a courtesy notice of "Michael is still waiting to connect with you".


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2099 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
fourever
♀ Member
Member # 30631
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, August 22nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have him delete it so no reminders come. Wow! God help the OW if she ever dares come our way again….


In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.

Always, tell the other BS! Always!

"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!


Posts: 874 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Northeast
HardenMyHeart
♂ Member
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 12:58 AM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fishing is a good sign that NC has been maintained. Ignore her.


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.


Posts: 5644 | Registered: Aug 2007
sri624
♀ Member
Member # 33956
Default  Posted: 1:43 AM, August 23rd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thanks everyone for your advice and support. i did unfortunately let her have the power by allowing her to ruin my day. i am going to work on that.

no contact is definitely the right way to go.


BS (41):(Former Doormat)
WS (39):(Busted Cheater)
Married: 10 years, 3 kids under 5
DD1: 10/11 PA/EA with pilates instructor/former stripper.
DD2: 10/12 False r, cheating with other women, online dating,Substance abuse issues.
Attempting R in bi

Posts: 934 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Alabama
Topic Posts: 12

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