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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: You Didn't Think I Was Waiting, Did You?
movingforward13
♀ Member
Member # 38405
Default  Posted: 6:13 AM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So yesterday, my STBXH had a video chat with our son. I guess at some point, the video showed my dresser which had my brand new flowers that Mr. Officer sent me since my son is only 2 and can't hold the camera straight for the whole 15 minutes.

So after their chat, my ex texts me "Hey, I saw flowers. Are you dating someone?" To which I didn't even respond. We aren't best friends dumb ass, don't worry about what I am doing.

I really wanted to respond with, "Does it matter, we are divorcing," but I figured no response is better than a response that he could bait me into a fight.


Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

Posts: 607 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Northeast US
movingforward13
♀ Member
Member # 38405
Default  Posted: 6:13 AM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why does he care?


Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

Posts: 607 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Northeast US
Take2
♀ Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 6:47 AM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Possible reasons:

A)He doesn't like the idea of you moving on, feeling a ping of jealousy.

B) He wants to you to confirm you are moving on - so he can rid himself of any guilt.

C) Idle curiosity.

Crickets is the response to any of the above! Whatever his reasoning you don't want it coming into play during a D. (I say that because I know my X would have used such info to amp up anger and to try and punish me during D...)


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4090 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
SeanFLA
♂ Member
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm pretty sure my exWW knows I've been dating, etc. Generally speaking because some of my friends have asked me and I just tell them the truth, but I know it's probably gotten back to her. But I've never spoken to her directly about it nor will I. My son has only met one of the women I'm currently dating and that is on a very casual basis (just dinner, beach and she took us all to a Jags game with tickets her office gave her). But I still don't do any PDA stuff in front of him with her because he's still young and getting used to all this divorce stuff still I believe. I think at his age it has to be hard seeing one of your parent's with another person that isn't your mom.

But in my case I would guess if she ever did inquire it would be either "B" or "C". But probably leaning more towards "B". After all she willingly gave up quite a bit at mediation to me because of guilt for what she was doing. Why should she act any differently now?


BS(me) 47
WW 46
1 son 14 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley


Posts: 1349 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:44 AM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wasband is convinced I've been dating constantly for the past year. In fact, I haven't been on a single date and have no interest in it.

But that's none of his business, and I make no bones about reminding him of that.


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22581 | Registered: Aug 2011
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 10:26 PM, August 21st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When in doubt, though there is little here, **crickets** is the way to go


Me: BW-43
Him: XWH-43
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4160 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 6

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