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Newest Member: decievedmom (44722)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: today opened my eye's
Itsgoingtobeok
♂ Member
Member # 37664
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today is my WW birthday . Since yesterday she's been acting really distant so I questioned her about the way she been acting ? After a lot of " I'm fine " she final told me that the OM e mailed her but she claims she didn't read it . I then asked her if she had any contact with the om and she said " no " . From her actions I believe she has communicated with the om. Now I'm realising how wrong our mc has been working with us . Everyone here on S.I has been telling me not to allow my Ww to rug sweep and TT . I feel by allow her to not tell me everything I'm enabling her to continue the A . Since the om broke the nc request I plan on contacting him to let him know I plan on speaking to his W about the A .


BS-(52)
WS-49
married 28 yrs
Kid's -2
A- several
DD- 12-10-12
Starting recovery

"I don't understand the world today I don't understand what she needs I gave her everything she threw it all away" tom petty


Posts: 215 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Los Angeles
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Since the om broke the nc request I plan on contacting him to let him know I plan on speaking to his W about the A .
Do not give him advance notice. Just do it. The only reason I can think of to let him know would be to see if he and your WW are still communicating. Since you already know he's initiated contact previously you stand to gain nothing except giving him the opportunity to craft his lies to his BW.

Regarding the email from OM to your WW it is clear you understand she is not transparent. She should have volunteered that information instead of requiring a game of 20 questions before admitting. Unfortunately you know from experience there is likely much more to the story. She realized you knew something was up so she admitted to the email. She admitted to what she had to in order to placate you. I suspect there has been renewed contact between them. In addition to letting OM's BW know about the email I would suggest you go into stealth mode and see what else you can find.

p.s. Be prepared. Since you questioned her your WW may have already given OM a heads up that you know about his email to her.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3727 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
2married2quit
♂ Member
Member # 36555
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dude, that's a big NO NO! WTH? He sent an e-mail? Unless it was a NC e-mail, that shit is not good.

The OM in my case was a dumbass that couldn't let it go. I told him over and over to stop. Even though him and I were friends before A. His texts were friendly but heck no! It didn't stop until his BS found out. I still believe he wants to contact her or find out about her indirectly. Freak'n OM!!!! Jerks!


BS - Me 43 WS - Her 41
DDAY - June 2012 (found the texts)
DDAY2 - Next Day (found out who) EA
TT- till 9/2012 (some PA)
Married 20yrs. 2kids
Status: in careful R. Sometimes spinning our wheels

Posts: 1311 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: USA
doesitgetbetter
♀ Member
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just echoing Brandon, do NOT tell ANYONE that you are going to contact the OBS! Even your WW! This is how it will go if you do.... WW will tell OM that you are going to tell his wife, he will then tell his wife that a "friend" of his has this crazy jealous husband who is controlling, possibly abusive, and he's always accusing her of cheating on him if she so much as looks in another man's direction and now, this crazy man is accusing her of cheating with me. The OBS will say "oh my gosh, that's so terrible, that poor poor woman. I will not believe a word he says if he calls me because I love you and trust you, you didn't have to tell me this of course so it must be true". You will then call the OBS and she will either listen and not care, or she'll call you a liar and inform you that you are the devil on earth for making up such malarcky.

Whatever you do, WHATEVER you do, do NOT tell anyone you are going to tell the OBS until you actually have done it. You WILL regret it.


DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
Topic Posts: 4

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