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User Topic: Bi-Polar Wife has Broken my Trust (and heart)
BrokenDad
♂ New Member
Member # 38927
Helpless  Posted: 12:59 AM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Apologies for this long post. It's my first one.

My wife is diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. Throughout 2012 she had some extreme manic phases, became hyper-sexualized, and led a secretive life of ongoing cybersex with multiple partners.

In August 2012 I found out and confronted her. She admitted to it, and promised to sever all connections with her online lovers.

However, she secretly kept in touch with several of them, and actually met one of these guys in person, and had a one-night-stand with him, only a few days later.

About a month after the ONS, came the 2nd D-day. When I found out about the ONS I confronted her again. I also found out that she and the Om didn't use any protection, and that she used my debit card to pay for the hotel room - Ouch, that's one way to add insult to injury! As far as I know, this was the only PA she's had. I sincerely hope so!

It wasn't until January 2013 that she finally gave up her secret life of cybersex, severed all inappropriate contacts, gave me all her passwords, and became truly repentant.

Unfortunately I found that while she was out of town in July 2013, she visited a chat room and then indulged in a few hours of cybersex. After confronting her about this, she appears to have no memory of the cybersex encounter/conversation/activity. Now she keeps her laptop put away and doesn't use it, because she's afraid of her cybersex addiction taking control again.

I don't know what the future holds, but we've become distant over the months since the first, and especially the 2nd D-day. We also have 3 school-aged kids, who would be devastated if we were to divorce. Also, logistically and financially, we can't really afford to split up. I don't know where to go from here, but the whole experience has made me so sad I don't have the words to express it.

[This message edited by BrokenDad at 2:39 AM, August 16th (Friday)]


Me: BS 40s
Her: WS 40s
Married 1997
D-day: August 2012

Posts: 3 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Kenosha, WI
thisissogross
♀ Member
Member # 30294
Default  Posted: 2:32 AM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Brokendad, I'm so very sorry you're dealing with all of this. I'm pretty sleepy (and afraid of not making much sense) but I wanted you to know you've been heard and to welcome you to si. It's a great place with lots of good people around. The healing library is in the upper left of the screen and has tons of great reading. All of this is hard but you are not alone and ultimately, you will be ok. I wish you well and know others much wiser than I will be along soon. Take care.


"A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love." -Friedrich Nietzsche

i edit frequently because i have to


Posts: 241 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: southern us
BrokenDad
♂ New Member
Member # 38927
Default  Posted: 2:38 AM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for your response!


Me: BS 40s
Her: WS 40s
Married 1997
D-day: August 2012

Posts: 3 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Kenosha, WI
Daysie
♀ Member
Member # 38873
Default  Posted: 3:11 AM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi - BrokenDad

Sorry you are here but you will get lots of help and support.

I am not long out from my D/Day so I come here often.

Just wanted to tell you that my WH was recently told he is Bipolar. He had a major manic episode 6mths ago and this is when his A (32yrs ago)came to light !!

We are still struggling through this. What I did learn though was lots of things that he said and did during this mania recently he now has no knowledge of

Please read in the "I can relate " forum - "married to a bipolar".

Please keep coming back - lots of experienced members will be along soon to help you.

(((Hugs)))


Me BS 56
Him WH 56
M 36yrs
A 32yrs ago with my then BF
DD 1 / DS 1
Who is this man ??????


Posts: 85 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
Daysie
♀ Member
Member # 38873
Default  Posted: 3:19 AM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi BrokenDad

Just wondering - "Is your wife seeing a Doctor" and "Is she on Meds"[/italic ?????


Me BS 56
Him WH 56
M 36yrs
A 32yrs ago with my then BF
DD 1 / DS 1
Who is this man ??????


Posts: 85 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
BrokenDad
♂ New Member
Member # 38927
Default  Posted: 5:02 PM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Daysie,

Thanks for your words of support, and for letting me know about the "I can relate " forum - "married to a bipolar"!

Sorry to hear about your situation also. To find out 32 years later must have been shocking and devastating, I can imagine!

Yes, my wife is being treated for her bi-polar disorder. The psychiatrist she was seeing last year was mainly prescribing anti-depressants, which weren't helpful, so early this year I located a new psychiatrist for her.

The new psychiatrist has been much better. My wife has fully disclosed her time of ongoing A to the doctor. The psychiatrist invites me into many of her sessions, with her consent, to get a more complete view of what's going on. He also has taken her off the anti-depressant, and put her on some anti-psychotic prescriptions, which appear to be helping. I never thought I'd learn so much about psychiatric medication as I have recently!

There's also a Doctor of Psychology at the same practice, who has been seeing her regularly, most often including me in the sessions as well.

About a month ago my wife was hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital, because she let the psychologist know that she had overdosed on some of her meds, and there was a chance she might hurt herself. After being released, she now attends an out-patient psychiatric day-time program, which seems to be helping a little.

As I'm sure you know, bi-polar disorder is very difficult to treat. My wife has serious issues of mood stability, including extreme negative thinking, feelings of irritation and persecution, and bursts irrational anger and hostility. It's stressful, but there's a remote chance we'll reach a R at some point.

Thank you again for your response!

[This message edited by BrokenDad at 5:06 PM, August 16th (Friday)]


Me: BS 40s
Her: WS 40s
Married 1997
D-day: August 2012

Posts: 3 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Kenosha, WI
Topic Posts: 6

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