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Newest Member: LiarsandFools (44201)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Well this is weird!
HURTAGAIN1981
♀ Member
Member # 35178
Default  Posted: 6:42 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Had that date on Saturday. Seemed to go well, he said it had in a message after and said about meeting again.

Well it's been a bit strange. He will text, then I will answer, with a question and then he won't reply.

So I thought that maybe he had changed his mind about meeting again, fine by me really. But then today, I got a message this morning which was his reply from the day before, and in it he said that 'next time' I will have to try a certain chinese fast food we were talking about the previous day.

I replied, and asked how his day was going, again no reply.

Now I don't mind but why mention meeting again more than once and then not bothering to reply? If he isn't interested, I would rather he just say or just say nothing at all and not message me. It is completely fine if he is, it's the messing about that actually bothers me!

And it's not that he's 'not a texter' because before we met he was messaging all the time really. Hmmmmmmm!


Posts: 296 | Registered: Mar 2012
asurvivor
♂ Member
Member # 32368
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like he may be O-D-ing on the MSG. I suggest not getting the Kung Pao Chicken.


I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know.



Posts: 492 | Registered: Jun 2011
HURTAGAIN1981
♀ Member
Member # 35178
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

O-D-ing?

Posts: 296 | Registered: Mar 2012
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just because he texted a lot before you met doesn't mean he's a texter. He could prefer to communicate in other ways (like in person) once they're an option, and see texting as a necessary evil of OLD.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13553 | Registered: Jul 2011
HURTAGAIN1981
♀ Member
Member # 35178
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmmm we shall see. It was just one message though today, would have been two if he had replied. I know he saw the message and I think it's rather rude to point blank ignore it.

Posts: 296 | Registered: Mar 2012
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:27 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, if he isn't worth it to you, move on. You've invested what, one date in him? Next.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13553 | Registered: Jul 2011
cayc
♀ Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're trying to have a conversation with him via text, he's just trying to stay in touch and let you know he's around, interested and will be asking you out again.

Next time he texts you, just respond to what he mentions. Don't ask him a question.

So he texts, "how is your day going" and you respond "fabulous, hope your's is good too!"

Or he texts, "next time chinese" you reply "awesome, I love chinese food".

That's friendly, letting him know you're receptive to the contact, but not trying to force a conversation when it's too soon (b/c you've only had 1 date).


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 2996 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 10:27 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm working on this: I will believe what others say is still true until I hear otherwise. And silence isn't hearing something otherwise. So "next time" means he wants to see you again, even if he hasn't responded to a text. I truly believe most people aren't as complicated and complex as all that...say what you mean and mean what you say...

But if it is "fine by you" not to see him again, do you really want to accept a second date? It is okay to have changed your mind...


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3003 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
HURTAGAIN1981
♀ Member
Member # 35178
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm usually the other way around. I don't believe until I see it with my own eyes.

Well ladies and gentlemen (if there are any reading), it seems we do in fact have a poofer He hasn't replied to my last message in over a day. Oh well! Onto the next I guess, now I just have to find another I want to go on a date with


Posts: 296 | Registered: Mar 2012
InnerLight
♀ Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 3:21 PM, August 15th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A couple of days of no texting does not a poofer make. It does sound like things are not flowing in the communication between you two, but it can take a while for two strangers to figure out how best to do this. Needless to say it doesn't feel great to you so maybe you can put a stop to it and respond to his next text with 'On further thought I don't think we are a match, good luck with your search.'

Or, you can go on with your life and if he texts again respond the way Cayc suggested. Without questions. Simple and friendly to show you are receptive but nothing more.

I think one of the unique things about OLD is that you start from being complete strangers so even the most basic communications of friendship have to be established from scratch.


BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. dating again, living in the sticks with a cat. It's taking a long time to create new dreams and a new life but it is slowly coming together.

Posts: 5723 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
Topic Posts: 10

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