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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Douchebag is a daddy.
Douchebagfree
♀ Member
Member # 39267
Default  Posted: 9:28 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I've been doing pretty good with the no contact thing. I haven't responded to the "accidental" texts that he sent to me rather then his Twinkie. I haven't told her or anyone else about the lies he's told about our relationship and about himself. I haven't responded to any emails that did not pertain to finances or the sale of our house.

Last night a friend of mine texted me and told me that he's now a daddy. He found out on Facebook.

I didn't sleep all night because I tortured myself with the thought of his happy new family and how he was able to throw away 9 years just like that for someone he'd only known for 2 weeks.

And while he's posting pictures of her and their new baby, his relationship status still says married and he's made no mention of filling for divorce.

When will this emotional roller coaster end?


Sometimes you have to stand alone, just to make sure you still can.

Posts: 58 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Canada
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:41 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry, honey. That's a rather dramatic drop to sit through. When things were most difficult for me, it sometimes helped to remember that for every fall on the rollercoaster, there was a rise ahead.

Sending you strength.
((((dbfree))))


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22672 | Registered: Aug 2011
Militarybrat
♀ Member
Member # 37303
Default  Posted: 9:47 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((douchebagfree))). I totally understand the roller coaster ride. It sucks. I'm so not looking forward to the day OW gets pregnant. She's young so I know that she wants kids, even though he doesn't. I also worry about our son and how he will take it.
My heart goes out to you!


Me: BS (37) 38 now
Him: WS (38) 39 now
OW: Only 23, now 24
DS: 4
1st DD: 4/2010 (same girl)
Tried R and MC
2nd DD: 7/12/12 and my child was there!

Posts: 94 | Registered: Oct 2012
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 11:58 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Douchebagfree))))) I am so so sorry. That is difficult news to hear. I'm sorry that you lost sleep due to torturing yourself. I am sorry that YOU are suffering from HIS brokenness. I wish I had an answer to your question but I don't. Roller coasters suck balls. I hope you can rest tonight.


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
I FINALLY GOT A COURT DATE: 5/29/14!!

Posts: 1832 | Registered: Oct 2012
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 12:04 AM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((dbfree)))

I am sorry.

But

I tortured myself with the thought of his happy new family

let that ^^ go!!

It takes very expensive photography and selective memory to have a happy new family with a newborn. It is 10-12 diapers a day, little to no sleep, healing from the physical trauma of childbirth, arguing over whose turn it is to get up or resentful that it is ALWAYS your turn, exhaustion, too many guests, not enough guests, and did I mention the exhaustion?

(((hugs))) the roller coaster sucks.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5307 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
newlysingle
♀ Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 12:21 AM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh, I'm so sorry. That would be really hard. I know OW in my case desperately wants a baby too. STBX does not want more kids, but he is too much of a pussy to tell her. He doesn't want to risk losing her.

Anyway, I know the day she gives birth will be really hard for me. Lots of hugs to you.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 722 | Registered: Mar 2013
jjsr
♀ Member
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 1:47 AM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just hope the baby has colic, though I don't wish it on the baby but you get the idea


Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA
Trying to reconcile

Posts: 1530 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Texas
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:23 AM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nothing like a baby to bring out a selfish, useless, pain in the arse, POSs true colours. I unfortunately learned that the hard way AFTER having kids with the sad clown.

As the XMIL so ironically said to me once: "you never know what kind of father they'll be until its too late". I would add husband to that too.

((Douchebagfree)) Don't believe the view from the window - you were in that house once, you know the monster she has just had a child with. You are free of it - her sentence has just begun.

Changing the players DOES NOT change the game.


Sending all of the love and strength I can muster to Phoenix1 and her family.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

Posts: 4561 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
NoTriangles
♀ Member
Member # 35985
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can relate, DBFree.

Both Fucktard and Troutface are 42. She has never been married, no kids but she wants them and I'm sure she feels the clock ticking. Fucktard has two kids from his first marriage who are now 17 and 15 and he does not want more children (he certainly does not want to repeat the demanding infant years nor be age 60 when they graduate high school.) I have no doubt he is selfishly stringing her along with avoidance tactics like "there is so much going on at my work since the merger, let's just table that for now" blah blah blah.

I see this playing out in one of two ways:

1) She gets sick of him stalling and finally makes an issue of defining what their "future" is. He will be fine with this because then he can say it was HER who ended things (he is a big giant coward).

OR

2) She 'accidentally' gets pregnant. Cue the resentment from the older kids as the new baby gets all the time, attention and resources. And of course, baby takes time and attention away from HIM, so he will seek validation elsewhere. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I promise you it isn't all rainbows and unicorns as they want all their FB friends to believe. (But you may want to stock up on popcorn at some point....)


Me: Forever Changed
Him: Traitor in my Foxhole
Let go or get dragged.

Posts: 1245 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: a state of consciousness
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 9:33 AM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is when the fairy tale ends and reality sets in. They always try to make things look great when they really aren't. You won't see them posting pics of the screaming fits, crying or of them up being up all night with a sick baby or one who doesn't want to sleep.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
mof2
♀ Member
Member # 40287
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow! Douchebag is right...along with a few other choice names. I'm sorry you are having to go through this, but you are WAY BETTER OFF!!!! He is pawn scum. That poor kid! People who behave in the manner as those two have should feel nothing shame for what they have done. What comes around, goes around!


BW - Me 43
WH - Cheating Swine 43
Dday - February 12, 2013....a week before I was to give birth to the child I miscarried and 12 days before our anniversary.

Posts: 275 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Texas
Whalers11
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((dbfree))


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2069 | Registered: Feb 2010
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I expect XSO's OW to want kids. He didn't want them, would not allow his wife to get pregnant. Ow is 27, he is 54.

He dated me for 8 years, helped me raise 4 daughters thru the preteen and teen years. He loved my kids, when we ended, he wanted to keep in touch with them.

Unless my kids tell me or his sister, I won't know. And I'm ok with that.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4031 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Topic Posts: 13

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