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Newest Member: wnt2chng (45300)

Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Hating the triggers
jrr111800
♂ New Member
Member # 39919
Stop  Posted: 10:44 PM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let me start by saying it has been 1 month to the hr that D-day happened. For the most part my BS has been fairly good with the triggers but occasionally she will just throw in a comment or two then work herself up into a rage. I made a simple observation this evening and it turned into a barrage of anger fueled comments. I am frustrated because I know have no place in getting angry at the darts being thrown. How do you deal with your emotions all the while help them deal with theirs?


Me-WH-38
BS-40
Married 13yrs
DD July 13,2013
6 month EA 2-ONS


Posts: 23 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Phx
Card
♂ Member
Member # 23667
Default  Posted: 8:10 AM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I kept reminding myself that she was venting.

When she finished her vent, I usually said something like; "I'm not that man anymore" I would follow that up with, "I'm making the changes necessary to protect you and our marriage so I never become that man again" I would hold her, soothing her in ways she wanted soothed through triggers. (we worked out multiple ways to sooth her, ones that she liked, during MC)


WH (me)
BS (her)

D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007

"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!

Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin


Posts: 570 | Registered: Apr 2009
Topic Posts: 2

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