Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: whatdoido21 (45321)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Legal Separation vs Divorce
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have decided to get a Legal Separation from my SAWH. I'm only 15 days out from D-Day #1, but due to his legal situation (see profile), I feel I need to protect myself and the kids legally. Today Is the first day I can even say the work "divorce." I'm wondering if I'm wasting time with a Legal Separation?

My reasoning for the LS instead of a D at this time is mainly that this is all going so fast. Three weeks ago I was happily married, I couldn't even imagine SL or D. Plus making major decisions after a major emotional trauma is usually not a good idea. I feel that a LS allows for the possibility (tiny though it is) that he will go through treatment and counseling and I'll want him back.

Any advice about how you handled this decision?

Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.

Posts: 1857 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
♀ Member
Member # 39324
Question  Posted: 2:05 PM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Gemini~

I am going down this same road. Here is a link to my post from a while back:

I will PM you as well...

Dday 5-10-13
1 year + EA/PA (still TT)
Me- BW
Him- WH
M- 15 years
2 kiddos
Today's forecast is foggy with a chance of D.

"Better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie"

Posts: 58 | Registered: May 2013 | From: hell on earth
♀ Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The first thing you need to do is check the laws in your state or province. Some states allow legal separation and some states do not recognize it.

The second thing to do is to find a L. Even if your state does not recognize legal separation, you can file for D and get temp orders to protect yourself and your kids, and then do nothing to move the D forward until you are ready.

Regardless of which way you go, you can start separating your finances now. For example, open your own checking account and move your direct deposit to the new account. Remove WH from any credit cards where you are the primary card holder and also remove yourself from credit cards where he is the primary card holder. Move 1/2 of your savings and investments into accounts in your name only. If you are staying in the family home, change the utilities to your name, if possible.

Good luck and (((hugs)))

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17679 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read your profile. I am SO sorry!

I think you need to divorce him. Be done. Cut all ties. This will afford you the greatest protection from him. Get a lawyer immediately. You need to protect yourself from any potential prosecution.

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9814 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lawyer up. Find out the laws in your state and how best to protect yourself. Even if you divorce, if you want to remarry him later, you can.

me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings

Posts: 4180 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Topic Posts: 5

Return to Forum: Divorce/Separation Post Reply to this Topic
Go to :
© 2002 - 2014 All Rights Reserved.