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Newest Member: KevinTheAsshole (45445)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Really want my own place again...
dlmos
♂ Member
Member # 36839
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been living with the parents since the D and I'm really getting tired of it. I know I need to stick it out for another 6 months (for financial reasons) but geez... I'm used to life at the firehouse were everyone not only expects for you to clean up after yourself, you get called out publicly if you leave a mess for someone else. At home I've noticed that my dad has no clue if they even OWN a dishwasher, and my mom is starting to leave more and more stuff dirty since she knows Ill have to clean it when I get ready to cook my own food (ex. there is only ONE skillet in this house). Now she is leaving laundry in the washer so I have to move it over and then fold it if I want to get my own done. The most aggravating thing though is she constantly brings the nephews/nieces over and then leaves them with me. No notice, no "would you mind", nothing.

I am not a kid person. Period. I like my own, and I can do well with kids but if they aren't my own I really have no desire to be around them. Im not mean or anything, and I make a big effort to make them happy but I hate babysitting. My mom is well aware of this.

My main tactic is just to never be at the house, or "available". I run a lot of "errands", go to the gym, etc... But it's just getting so old. I keep telling myself 6 more months, 6 more months, but it is do hard not to just go crazy.

Phew...vent over...


BH (32)
DS - 7, DD - 6
Divorced

Posts: 461 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Fort Worth,Texas
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 1:52 PM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get it. I was always the go to Grandma when a babysitter was needed for grandsons. I love it but now I live too far to wait last minute to ask. It's OK with me. Time for my own things.
6 more months, you can do it and not being available is good too.


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20384 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Pentup
♀ Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you are not paying rent, maybe look at those things as "rent".
((Dlmos)) it is difficult not having your own place.


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6605 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
courageous
♀ Member
Member # 34477
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know what you mean. I have been living with my parents during the separation and divorce. They treat me like I am still a teenager including reading my incoming text messages, going thru my email on occasion, and overall being noisy.


Me: BW (35)
Him: ExWH (31) EA/PA with MOW coworker
Married 9 years, 2 small kids
dday 3/12/2011 divorced fall 2012

My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.


Posts: 652 | Registered: Jan 2012
jennie160
♀ Member
Member # 29949
Default  Posted: 2:45 PM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At home I've noticed that my dad has no clue if they even OWN a dishwasher, and my mom is starting to leave more and more stuff dirty since she knows Ill have to clean it when I get ready to cook my own food (ex. there is only ONE skillet in this house). Now she is leaving laundry in the washer so I have to move it over and then fold it if I want to get my own done.

How about buying an extra skillet? Only washing the dishes that you need that moment? My old roommate was like this, she would leave her messes knowing that I would have to clean it up. Seriously, I think she ran the dishwasher once maybe twice the whole year we had it. Also, why are you folding their laundry? I don't expect anyone to fold my laundry and they shouldn't expect me to fold theirs. If my roommates laundry was in the washer I would move it to the dryer then dump it in a laundry basket until she retrieved it. I did the same to my moms laundry for the couple months I lived with my parents after D too.

As for the kids, have you told her your not comfortable babysitting? If so and she still does it, as soon as the kids get there I would make myself scarce. Or start pumping them full of sugar when they're left with you, then promptly leaving as soon as your mom gets back.

I know the feeling though. I got to the point that whenever I was home I always stayed cooped up in my bedroom just to avoid my roommate until she moved out.


Posts: 921 | Registered: Oct 2010
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 3:21 PM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Are you paying rent? If not, these are small prices to pay for a free room (it sounds like you pay for your own board--food, toiletries, etc.) At least you have an end in sight.

Believe me, I know how hard it it; I did it for 1.5 years.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20322 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 3:26 PM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hear you. Right after my D, I thought about selling my house and moving in with the parents for a while.

I just couldn't do it. No way. I'm still in that house.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7781 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
dlmos
♂ Member
Member # 36839
Default  Posted: 5:05 PM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I''m not paying rent so I try to help out and. I don't complain, but the teenager treatment gets old. I really am greatful that I am able to get back on my feet financially before starting over in a new apartment. It just gets old, really old sometimes. My cousin was talking to me about moving in with him for a bit till I can get my own place but I don't want to offend the parents when I'm only looking at six months.

I can do it, just need keep remembering how nice it will be to move into my own place this spring...

Edited for typos

[This message edited by dlmos at 5:07 PM, August 9th, 2013 (Friday)]


BH (32)
DS - 7, DD - 6
Divorced

Posts: 461 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Fort Worth,Texas
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 7:05 AM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

T/j - Courageous, your parents read your texts and emails?! This is why I could never move home. My parents would be the same way.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13812 | Registered: Jul 2011
Topic Posts: 9

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