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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: You're not gonna believe this, but...
Coraline
♀ Member
Member # 36434
Default  Posted: 1:43 AM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We settled. We're done! DONE, DONE, DONE! I'm still trying to believe it myself.

I could have gotten more money by going to trial, but I would've spent a lot of it on attorney's fees, so the net gain wouldn't have been much. Certainly not enough to justify the stress of going through this for 6 more months. Plus, I got other concessions I wanted AND we're amicable now, which is worth a lot, given that we have 17 years of some sort of parenting relationship in front of us.

I will be staying here until January, and because of the way military stuff works with moving family members, that means our divorce won't be final until then. I'm fine with that, though. Now I can sit back and actually enjoy Hawaii for a while, without all this worry. Basically everything is signed and no one can go back on it unless there's a significant change in circumstance or something. The paperwork will be filed Jan 1, meaning the D will be final sometime in mid or late January.

One thing I'll say...my...what is he now? Is he my ex now? What is he, since it's not final yet, but it's done? Anyway, he wanted to meet in person or do mediation, and I wasn't going to, everyone said not to, etc., but I KNOW him. I knew this would get it done, and I knew I was at a good enough place to be able to do it, so I did. After all that happened, it was worked out between the two of us at a Starbucks (we made sure the attorneys knew what was going on and it was all approved, since we had that stipulated no contact/restraining order agreement). We just sat down outside over coffees and worked it out.

My main attorney said I did a fine job and the deal was nothing for me to be ashamed of. She said it was fine. I'm proud of myself, because at the end, I did what I knew would work. My instincts were all right after all.


Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.

Posts: 771 | Registered: Aug 2012
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:47 AM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage





So. Completely. Awesome!

Ex works for a name. Feel free to use wasband, too, if you like.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25746 | Registered: Aug 2011
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:58 AM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9827 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
heartbroken_kk
♀ Member
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 2:04 AM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wheres' that slow hand clap gif?


BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.


Posts: 1221 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 3:08 AM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Most awesome and greatest post I've read all week!! Soooooo happy for you Coraline!! Soooo happy and proud of you!!


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2271 | Registered: Oct 2012
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 5:27 AM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7689 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 6:18 AM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is fantastic to read Coraline!! I'm so excited for you and your NB! I do hope you can relax and enjoy the island!

As for a name, well there is always the Dooosh- clearly I was supposed to share his mind and body with another woman in my marriage, I can certainly share his name now that I'm divorced and don't give a rats ass about him!!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3612 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 6:23 AM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh wow, coraline! I'm so happy for you that I got teary-eyed reading your post.

You go ahead and call that piece of shit whatever you would like! I'm so glad that you get to relax and enjoy your time now.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:39 AM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so thrilled for you friend!

The king is dead - long live the Queen!


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
gahurts
♂ Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 6:51 AM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yay!!!!!!

Enjoy Hawaii to the fullest.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3432 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 7:25 AM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17535 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 7:30 AM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Way to go Coraline! Sometimes following your instincts is the only way to go.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4609 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
hangingontohope7
♀ Member
Member # 20024
Default  Posted: 7:40 AM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My instincts were all right after all.

^^^^ This gives me hope.

Best wishes to you!


Me: BW
DDay #1 Tried R
DDAY #2 Divorcing

Burn everything love then burn the ashes.


Posts: 247 | Registered: Jun 2008
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 7:42 AM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Coraline, I'm soooo happy for you!!! I can't wait for January when you and the kids take off to a more beautiful place.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5525 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would think you could call him, when you want to be polite and civilized...LOL, my former husband.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2708 | Registered: Jan 2010
npain
♀ Member
Member # 33539
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YAY!!!!


S, Filed 4/17/14--YAY, ME!!

Posts: 512 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: New York
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YAY!!!

Posts: 3419 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congrats!!!!!!

Call him whatever you want.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4788 | Registered: Feb 2008
Coraline
♀ Member
Member # 36434
Default  Posted: 12:26 PM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks so much, guys. I've had so much adrenaline pumping for so long, that I don't even know what to do with myself right now. It's a good thing, but...wow...it just feels weird, especially that it ended with a settlement over coffee! It seems surreal. My brain and even my body are trying to get used to it.

This whole week I've been on pins and needles. I spent the first couple days thinking nothing would really come of meeting with him and the next couple days thinking he'd change his mind before we got it before the judge. I don't smoke and never was a full time smoker, but ten years ago I used to have a cigarette or two when I drank much alcohol. It's been YEARS, but this whole week I've just been wanting to sit outside after the kids went to bed and have one cigarette. It has to have been the stress. It was the strangest craving. I didn't do it, but every day I wanted to.

But anyway I made it. Now I have to enjoy the island on my tiny budget and plan for the future. I figure I'll be poor for about 3 years, then life will be good. I've been a Navy wife, so I can do anything for 3 years, lol (that's the average length of time you stay in one place).


Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.

Posts: 771 | Registered: Aug 2012
Pippy
♀ Member
Member # 16482
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you!!!!!!


I divorced him because I didn't like his girlfriend.
M 30 yrs.


Posts: 9588 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: East of the Rockies
Topic Posts: 29
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