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Newest Member: IWantToSurvive (44222)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Just when I thought we would make it
Lonelygirl10
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((trust)))))

I think this is everyone's worst fear.


29 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1022 | Registered: Jul 2013
Baldeagle
♂ New Member
Member # 40194
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, August 8th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like you have a awesome Mother in Law. She gave you support instead of her son who went out of his way to hurt others. My mother in law would help her children hide the bodies if they were serial killers... she was a cheater also.

Posts: 11 | Registered: Aug 2013
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 5:02 PM, August 8th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Trusttrusttrust))) my heart hurts for you I am so sorry. I know all too well what multiple DDays and False R feel like. You are doing the right thing by seeing a lawyer. It might be a good thing to kick him out of the house. The only thing that really seemed to wake my WH up was taking the actions towards ending the M.

Now if I ever get the misfortune of another DDay I will leave, no doubt in my mind and I have my exit plan in place.


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
Trusttrusttrust
♀ Member
Member # 37694
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can not thank everyone enough for the loving and supportive responses to this horrific situation. He is sleeping in the guest room and I am living my life. He started seeing a counselor that day. He has a sexual addiction and only he can fix that. He has a lot of work to do and I have to make a decision at some point to stay or divorce. Right now I am doing everything for myself, probably for the first time. I am so thankful for this SI community. Although I don't post a lot, I read every day. It is comforting to know I am not alone.


Married 31 years
D-Day Sept 3, 2012
I thought we were in R. Now I am not sure.
Second D-Day August 5' 2013
No kids

Posts: 97 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Virginia
dayatatime
♀ Member
Member # 17090
Default  Posted: 9:41 PM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh boy you are not alone. I had my second dday 3 years following the first. There's a new level of devestation the second time around. Good luck. Advice here saved my life. We are in R from SA but it's a long hard road. It can be done but he's gotta want it more thwn anything.


BS 52
WH 55
son 13
ddays 9/27/07 and 9/1/10

Posts: 764 | Registered: Nov 2007
Flatlined123
♀ Member
Member # 35862
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here's just a thought that I wish I'd have followed. You can D and if he gets his act together, you can always start again if you want to.

I wish I'd have made H stand on his own two feet and just taken care of me.

Hugs to you sweetie, be strong.


Me: BS 43
H : WS 46
DD #1 7-11-08
DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.
Started R in 12-09
"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."

Posts: 652 | Registered: Jun 2012
summerain
♀ Member
Member # 37439
Default  Posted: 10:55 PM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(hug)... I don't give out many of those!

Definitely agree with Flatlined's post. I assume your in America, it seems to be quite different than Australia (luckily). Look after yourself, and if you can...

eat chocolate.

(hug)


OW1 inadvertently let me know WH loves English breakfast tea. Never ever saw him drink it. And I never will.

Posts: 818 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Australia
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 2:06 AM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am soooo sorry that you are having to live this again. BTDT. DDay#2 is to me harder than the actual DDay. My WH#2 continued to see OW for almost a year after DDay#1. To know he cared that little about me still breaks my heart on a daily basis. I wished I would have had SI and the support then. I would have done things totally different and would not have allowed him to rugsweep once again. I am glad you have the support from SI and your MIL to help you through this. (((HUGS)))


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Trusttrusttrust
♀ Member
Member # 37694
Default  Posted: 5:40 AM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks once again. It is so comforting to get on my computer and see all the responses. It really makes a difference in how I am feeling. For the first time in 31 years I am not wearing my wedding rings or any jewelry that he bought me. He knows how serious I am about D and that I am not making any decisions any time soon. I am just taking one day at a time. I know that I am still numb and probably in some sort of shock. Thanks again for your wonderful support.


Married 31 years
D-Day Sept 3, 2012
I thought we were in R. Now I am not sure.
Second D-Day August 5' 2013
No kids

Posts: 97 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Virginia
Grilla
♂ New Member
Member # 40299
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All that I have to say is that when one observes their wife kissing another man while she claimed to have a late meeting, well you don't quite understand the rage that swells through your being.
OWH here

Posts: 37 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Virginia
mrcpu
♂ Member
Member # 38157
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All that I have to say is that when one observes their wife kissing another man while she claimed to have a late meeting, well you don't quite understand the rage that swells through your being.
OWH here

My rage had subsided into pain by the time I saw the OM again. I told him later when we he was apologizing to me that I almost decked him and his response was that he deserved it if I did. I sometimes wish I could get that rage back and lose it and hit him because, baring a serious injury where authorities came, I have no doubt he'd "take it like a man".

(((TRUST))) I hope your WH did suffer a concussion. It sounds like he at least "took it like a man" and knows he deserved the beating. Maybe you two need some time apart. Do the 180 and don't look back unless and until YOU are ready/interested in giving him a chance and if that never happens then at least you can divorce knowing YOU did everything you could for the marriage.


D-Day 1: 22 Dec 2012
D-Day 2: 22 July 2014 (unconfirmed)
Me: 40's WW: 40's Together 15 years
1st OM: ex-"Best Friend" of 30+ years
2nd OM: ?!? Currently auditing to confirm.

Posts: 210 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Toronto
Topic Posts: 31
Pages: 1 · 2

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