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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Finally got him to read!!!
PrincessPeach06
♀ Member
Member # 39588
Default  Posted: 4:16 AM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Right after Dday I ordered "How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair" but it sat unread. I tried to get him to read it (or something!) but there was excuse after excuse.

Yesterday we had a hell of a day. Once again I held it all in until I exploded in anger. I ended up sobbing telling him he needs to go above and beyond what he "thinks" he needs to do but I refuse to make him do anything or ask anymore. I stayed in our room crying while he took the boys to their sporting activities. When he came home he showed me the book (HTHYSHFYA) and he was halfway through.

Baby steps.....

I never realized how hard this road would be. I never feel 100% confident but yesterday definitely helped things.


Me (BS): 35
Him (fWS): 36
Married 16 years 6 kids ages 15-6
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013

Finally this is R 8/14/13

"Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey".


Posts: 299 | Registered: Jun 2013
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 5:42 AM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's a great start


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2527 | Registered: Aug 2012
Dallas2
♀ Member
Member # 28362
Default  Posted: 8:26 AM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great! Hope he keeps at it.


Me

Posts: 828 | Registered: Apr 2010
TxsT
♀ Member
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Princess....feeling your frustration over the reading thing. Hubby did IC?MC without flinching but the reading was a stumbling block. It wasn't until I got to the point where, when he said what is it that you need from me to do for you or show you, I finally said....JUST READ!!!!!

He finally started and now it is a wonderful way for us to start some deep conversations. We even highlight the parts of each book that pertain to us and write our thoughts in the margins.

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
purplejacket4
♀ Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That was the only book my fWS was willing to read. "Not Just Friends" probably has a family of book mites living in it!


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2069 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Posts: 33716 | Registered: Mar 2011
Topic Posts: 6

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