But part of me suspects WH picked them out for MOW but daughter caught him buying them and he was forced to give them to me.
So sorry, but I gasped out loud when I read this! Some things still amaze me. I would think nothing could shock me by now.
I guess the gift I was given at the time of my husband's infidelity was our dream home. It was just before our loan was approved for our dream home that he had the ONS with the prostitute.
I love our home. I want to die here - when the time comes. We have a cemetary on our property.
But it is a bit soiled by the reminder that while he was attempting to get loans for our dream home, he was online - and ONS.
My problem is that my husband does not get me gifts. My engagement ring was stolen, and I just KNEW that by our 25th anniversary, we would be well into our healing process and he would get me a new one. No. I got a watch. God help me. It was a pretty watch, but it felt like one of those watches people get at work for many years of service.
I have never put it on.
I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy
The thing that REALLY upsets me is that I bought him really expensive basketball tickets for Christmas, and he sold them for under half their value because OW didn't want him to go with me to the game. Watching basketball was always our thing, and I just don't see myself being excited about that this year.
So later, he excused himself for a restroom trip and came back with the necklace for me. To me, it signaled a new beginning and for several months, I wore it often. Unfortunately, when he confessed to the A, he also confessed to buying the OW a similar necklace at the same place.
Well, I've not worn the necklace again. It sits in my jewelry box, tainting everything else. My therapist suggested that I give it to him (before or after smashing it) and ask him to replace it with something truly meaningful.
The snow globe smashing? Therapeutic. Do it!
Triggers also come when he brings gifts for dd I find out come from "there".
The times, they are'a changin'! -Bob Dylan
It's hard. I actually chose most of what he got me. Sent him links to specific items. So I almost feel like I bought them myself which helps. But it is hard sometimes. I love the jewelry cabinet I chose for myself but it does remind me of the A so it's bitter sweet.
I try to think of Christmas and all it's reminders as the day he chose to love me again, cause it was a turning point for him and our marriage.
Insist know how I'll handle this Christmas season. Not looking forward to it at all.
I took it off after Dday and have worn it once on a particularly good R day since. Other than that, I just can't. He's altered my perceptions of our "past", made my "present" a living nightmare, and my "future" completely uncertain. Just breaks my heart (is there anything left to break?)
And I agree, smash the living daylights out of the snowglobe.....
I had still loved the way it looked on me, so I continued wearing it even after we separated. That is, until he commented on how he was surprised and happy to see me still wearing it during a hoover attempt. I took it off immediately and haven't worn it since..
I've actually tried to replace everything, clothes, shoes, jewelry, blankets, pillows.. It's almost like I want everything gone from that life, whether it was connected to the A or not.
Breaking/burning things is amazingly therapeutic, so I'm in the "smash the globe" camp.. Unless its worth a pretty penny, then I say pawning and replacing is even better.