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User Topic: My H's ex just sent me a linked in request
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd like to add you to my professional network. I am actively seeking a career home; please keep me in mind.

For fucking seriously?

I forwarded it to my H - said, "What in the actual fuck. Is she insane?"

And he said, "LOL - she doesn't think the way you do."

I'm attempting to not be pissed off. While we were "separated" the two of them talked on the phone some, exchanged texts and facebook messages. I've seen the content. It's all innocent, inane stuff. She's actually pretty boring. But I'm not stupid enough to think she wasn't ready to swoop in when things were final - and that my H was using her to boost his ego (just knowing she was somebody always willing to pay attention to him).

I asked him if she sent HIM a request, and told him that if he thinks she's some innocent little snowflake he's giving her too much credit, and that she knows exactly what she's doing.

I am attempting to not be pissed off, because I'm sure that causing trouble was her goal. Only positive is that I was out of town and she sent the thing Wednesday, so I'm sure she was sitting there wondering why she'd gotten no reply.

Tempted to accept her and then ask her what in the actual fuck her problem is.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6564 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
StepAside
♀ Member
Member # 29826
Default  Posted: 9:00 AM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey Jana!

You know that *crickets* is the appropriate route...

bleah, I know right!?


Of course there is always the other explanation for LinkedIn requests, one of the settings is to have it auto send requests to email addresses in your outlook.

Hopefully that will be the last of that for you. Pig sent MrStepAside a LinkedIn request last year, she received no response, but she did send a 'congrats' email listing all of his accomplishments over the past few years (yes, its been a few years now...moooove along pig) to show how clever she is being able to read a LinkedIn profile and find the email address.

[This message edited by StepAside at 9:13 AM, August 5th (Monday)]


Me 48yrs, douche midlife crisis poster boy- 50yrs
too many A's to bother to count, he is a predator that targets loosers like himself
Last Dday April 12/10-Divorcing
We live in a world where the fear of illusion is real

Posts: 1510 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: The Cheese Stands Alone
Mack9512
♀ Member
Member # 38619
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello Jana,

My fWH's MOW did the same thing on DDay5. She realized it was really over this time and immediately sent LinkedIn request to me and my fWH's siblings. My BIL sent her a very nasty message via LinkedIn and her response "Oh it was a mistake." My ass it was a mistake.

It was crickets from all of us after that.

Mack


"If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello." - Paulo Coehlo

Posts: 377 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: East Coast
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Email is weird. When I forwarded the email with the notification in it to my H, the image doesn't load correctly on his end and for some reason he thought his mother (I have no idea why) had forwarded me something about his ex's linked-in account. So the "she" in "she doesn't think the way you do" was his mom, not his ex. That makes my blood pressure go down.

Once he understood what I was talking about, he agreed that she's a weirdo and suggested that maybe she wanted to befriend me. HAH!


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6564 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
BeyondBreaking
♀ Member
Member # 38020
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

CRICKETS!!!

I bet it will drive her crazy to get no response.

I think she was trying to stir the pot. Some ladies are like that, and she sounds just like it.


I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.

At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."


Posts: 840 | Registered: Jan 2013
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She's a weird one for sure.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6564 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think she was trying to stir the pot. Some ladies are like that

Sorry, but the only pot a "lady" would stir, would be the soup on her stove. That "lady" runs up and down the beach barking wildly and peeing on the seaweed.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4586 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Once he understood what I was talking about, he agreed that she's a weirdo

I'm glad he eventually reached this conclusion. His first response had me reaching for a folding chair...

(He did have a slight point.... she obviously doesn't think "the way you do" ie RATIONALLY)


We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

Posts: 16447 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Walking
♀ Member
Member # 40102
Default  Posted: 6:41 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh, my asshat's OW is stalking me online too. For months. I think somehow she views stalking me as a means to win my husband. Unfortunately for her, it's only a means to a restraining order. She claims to be an innocent victim. Innocent OWs run away from the relationships that are built on lies. No, her confrontations, by phone, in person and online, just prove that she is a crazy person who is not getting what she wants. If their behavior was not so scary you could sort of feel sorry for them.

Posts: 57 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Midwest
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 8:07 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some other friends I told about this are telling me that it might be an automatic thing, since we have other connections in common. You think?

I feel like a loser for this, but I had kind of a hard night because of this. My H and I were joking about it at first, but I started getting upset. I've been struggling with my weight - I lost some and then gained it back and then some while we had our house on the market/moved. This girl has nothing on me, nothing in the world, except that she's thinner and pretty. She used to compete in beauty pageants. She was a runner-up for our state title. It doesn't matter how much smarter, funnier, or more sane I am - she'll always be prettier. I should NOT let that bother me but it does.

I thought about it more last night. My H reached out to her and initiated their contact last year. He's the one who sent the texts and messages; she replied. It's not really her fault.

And I have everything she probably wants. She's ten years older than me, never married. She's not at the same level I am, career-wise. I have a child and at least a hope of having another. Really, she's never done anything to me other than respond to communication that was initiated by him. She doesn't deserve my ire. So I struggle with feeling like a total bitch because I still want to send her a message that would make her cry.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6564 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 8:15 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're not a bitch.

Whether the request was automatic or she sent it doesn't matter.

What matters is that she knows you're married to your husband, she KNOWS that...and she responded to his reaching out with something other than "you're married, and until you're not, please leave me alone." She was willingly in contact with your H, KNOWING that it wasn't right. Innocent, inane stuff or not...she's an ex, they share intimate history. There's nothing innocent about that.

That's the point.

She might be the hottest chick on the planet, but she's got some serious issues, and outer beauty is only skin deep. One day soon probably, her looks will fade, and what will she have to fall back on? Her moral compass?


Posts: 3306 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, itainteasy, you should see the God this and Jesus that that she has all over her facebook page. And she's at church all the time. That's what I don't get. Even though we were planning to divorce, he was still married and she knew it.

They were friends on facebook. After he changed his status back to "married" to me, she "liked" that. Then he posted a picture of our daughter and me at Disney on Ice, but Baby Green was turned looking at the show, and I was in the foreground - so it was basically a picture of me. And she "liked" that one too. At that point I said, forget it, this chick is too fucking weird, and went into his FB and blocked her (with his blessing - he told me to delete/block anyone I wanted).

So I don't know if she thinks that she's my friend by proxy or something? That I have some sort of positive feeling for her? That I'm just ok with the fact that she and my H were chitty-chatty during the worst time of my life? It's weird.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6564 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, August 14th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sooo she viewed my profile again yesterday.

Replying and asking her if she sent the invitation on purpose is a bad idea, correct? Because I'm sorely tempted.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6564 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Mack9512
♀ Member
Member # 38619
Default  Posted: 1:38 PM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jana,
She will look at your LinkedIn profile for a while. Maintain crickets and she will eventually realize that LinkedIn offers no insight for her. My fWH's MOW finally stopped looking at my profile last month. My fWH's profile is another story. She looked at his every week. It got so bad that my fWH deleted his account so that he wouldn't have to see her name or her face.


"If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello." - Paulo Coehlo

Posts: 377 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: East Coast
whattheh
♀ Member
Member # 40032
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You may be able to tweak your Linked In security settings so she cannot see your profile. And it's something you could do temporarily if you want.

I've set both our Linked In profiles so they are not viewable on Google or by anyone that's not in my network.

[This message edited by whattheh at 1:46 PM, August 16th (Friday)]


BW- mid 50's (me)
fWH-late 50's
M 33 T 35
DD-Early 2013
In R but I have PTSD...

Posts: 485 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6564 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Topic Posts: 16

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