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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Well this ticks me off - vent on xWH
hurtbs
♀ Member
Member # 10866
Suspicious  Posted: 5:40 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I wrote on here that ex WH got fired from his job (again). The last straw for me was when he got fired for sexual harassment. I don't know the details of why he lost this job.

So I just heard that ex is moving to another state for a new job. Now this royally pisses me off. I cannot tell you how many fights we got into post DDay. He had his A at the workplace and worked with OW for a year. He refused to find a new place as this was his "dream job." Then it was, "we can't move from here, my family just moved here." So now he's moving states - all of those stated reasons didn't matter. Why? Because it is and always has been about him.

Ugghh... End vent. Just ticked


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15321 | Registered: Jun 2006
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Watch his excuse will be he couldn't find a job in your state. They are so predictable!


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4775 | Registered: Feb 2008
hurtbs
♀ Member
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 6:18 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Watch his excuse will be he couldn't find a job in your state.

He and I are firmly NC so I will have no idea what his reasons are. I wouldn't be surprised if he couldn't find a job - his behavior makes him a huge liability in his field.


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15321 | Registered: Jun 2006
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ahhh, the ever-changing 'reason' behind decisions made.

Exactly why these types of people are called crazy-makers.

Dumb jerk.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8002 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Housefulloflove
♀ Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Watch his excuse will be he couldn't find a job in your state. They are so predictable!"

My exact thought Peridot!

Crazy-making indeed! All of their reasons, morals, values and standards fly out the damn window as soon as it stands in the way of anything they want.


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
hurtbs
♀ Member
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All of their reasons, morals, values and standards fly out the damn window as soon as it stands in the way of anything they want.

Yep. At the end of the day the reason he wouldn't find a new job was:

"I don't want to."

The reason we couldn't move for me to be able to find gainful employment?

"I don't want to."

The reason he's moving now?

"I want to."


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15321 | Registered: Jun 2006
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 5:42 AM, August 5th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What he does or doesn't do doesn't bother me anymore.

It did in the early days. I spent 5 years playing second fiddle to his 'job' read: his affairs with HOWorkers and all of a sudden he's not working 24/7.

But then I realised - he made these choices because at the time it is what he he wanted ie: to not be a part of my life or our family life - to have a secret double life. That's the part that hurts and the part I need to work through, not whatever the hell the muppet does with his life now.

Shine a light on what this brings up in you instead of focussing on what he is doing now that he wasn't before.

Why does this irk you, still?

It a rhetorical question - we all have different reasons. Mine was because I was still pissed off that he wasn't who I pretended he was. I'm still kinda pissed off about that but more at myself than at him.

The big thing he's NOT doing now that he was doing before is cheating on you. He's not cheating on you. That there is a win. The biggest of them all if you ask me.

In my situation that is worth far more than him sticking to whatever bullshit wants he carries on from his past life.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5554 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 7

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